What an interesting premise for a story. In fact, we call all relate to this a little. I'm very interested to see more. Grammar and use of language is very well done, interesting characters and world described so far. Keep it up

RECOMMENDED - If you’re one of those people who just love it when the narrator is the actual MC -like I do- then this is your cup of tea. The story is off to an intriguing start, the writer has a super cool way with words, it’s fresh and it leaves a bittersweet taste in your brain’s taste buds (in the best way possible), it’s young so make sure to add it to your library as well, I’m off to do just that :)

Decent and niche, a perks of a native speakers such as the author. Though being a native speaker doesn't mean to have automatically a quality such aas this. Kudos for a job well done. I left my advices on the comments and I hope you nitpick it. You have a great usage of commas but the use of (-) is very limited. Though your narrations were immersive. Well, the story potential was there and good luck with the contest. May you find success in the future! 😊

The story is quite well written and it's obvious that the author has put their heart into long descriptions but unfortunately the huge, chunky paragraphs are a sort of deterrent to readers. basically a well written book that needs line breaks

The writing is wonderful and the story is really gripping from the first paragraph. I like that the chapters are longer actually, though, in chapters 2 and 3, some of the paragraphs need to be broken up a little bit. It is simply too long and can be hard to read. Overall, this is a really interesting premise and I think it is wonderful work. Good job!

This is a promising story but the LONG paragraphs per chapter eventually turned me off as I continued reading even further. Grammar and Paragraph Spacing can be improved as well. Thank you and Good luck.

This is amazing! The first chapter is already interesting and very long too. (I can't write even half as much as that) I'm looking forward to more chapters!✍🏼

Intense from the very beginning; fascinating the further you go. Go further. Well written with an underdog lead to root for from the get go. A GOOD read.

The very first paragraph of this novel already drew my attention. The writer's grammar is on point. He/she must've really been listening in English class. However, I do believe the chapters are a bit too long to be one chapter. Apart from that, every other thing is perfect. His use of commas is moderate, his paragraphing is okay, and his main character actually has a personality. Good job on this one[img=recommend]

The way that the synopsis is that describes a good idea of a person that wants his idea to be real but also fears his creation. I might be wrong but I did read most of the chapter and I going to read more to see what going to happen and so far I like the way the world of his idea is shaping up.