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Darwin111111
Darwin111111Lv43yr
2021-07-06 23:58

Writing quality: ⭐⭐⭐. It's not so good. Stability of updates: ⭐⭐⭐⭐. From what I checked, it's fine. 30 chapters are separated almost by days. Development of the story: ⭐⭐. Strange, problems are supposed to look for him, but, like any story that does not know how to continue, the protagonist looks for them. I mean, it is said that he is not going to be a hero, but that problems will seek him, but I have only seen how he stupidly launches himself to do something. I mean, I know he's fine, but he's even planning to save a girl from the Japanese mafia ... I guess alone. That is not continuing your normal life, it is exactly the opposite of what is proposed in the synopsis ... it is looking for problems. Character design: ⭐. Lol, I had described great things about the character before, but hey, let me elaborate. Not with the protagonist, since his personality depends on the author's state of mind. Basically, it is a fanfic that the protagonist is said to see as if it were real life, but puppy eyes appear, and other things, but that is not personality. What I mean is that he acts corresponding to those unreal expressions, and the protagonist and the others act like the most generic and cliché anime characters. I mean, it's not that shallow when two close characters speak ... but add a third and it gets damaged. World Background: ⭐⭐. So far the only new thing I've seen is the Gyms and the protagonist's noodle stand as original. There is nothing else that was not created by anime creator yet. It surely increases, but I left it at chapter 13 and have no intention of rereading it, so I'm sorry. In short, all a great wasted potential. It is my honest opinion. You can give your opinion, but save me any comments that are not arguing with me or against me; No rat-kid comments and hateful talk for no reason. We are different, you like something and I don't, or it may simply be that my expectation is higher than a newbie like the one who makes that kind of comment.

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Replies8
Gonshido
GonshidoAuthor

Thanks Darwin for the great review. I have read this review multiple times and I am still re-reading it. I will try to improve, as you have pointed out my mistakes. This is my first time writing anything, so I am very bad at writing (as you can see), but I will try and again thank you.

Darwin111111
Darwin111111Lv4

No problem bro, that's normal. That is normal when you start with new ideas.

Gonshido:Thanks Darwin for the great review. I have read this review multiple times and I am still re-reading it. I will try to improve, as you have pointed out my mistakes. This is my first time writing anything, so I am very bad at writing (as you can see), but I will try and again thank you.
CodezL
CodezLLv4

I dropped it from the start, when instead of killing Muscle with a sniper rifle he decides to fight with a knife, I realized what kind of "smart" things to expect in fanfiction.

Darwin111111:No problem bro, that's normal. That is normal when you start with new ideas.
UndeadBeing
UndeadBeingLv12

You clearly didn't read far enough, it got worse

Darwin111111:No problem bro, that's normal. That is normal when you start with new ideas.
Darwin111111
Darwin111111Lv4

lol

UndeadBeing:You clearly didn't read far enough, it got worse
Sorouko
SoroukoLv14

There was a reason he didn’t use it but whatever this was 8 month ago and you probably don’t care

CodezL:I dropped it from the start, when instead of killing Muscle with a sniper rifle he decides to fight with a knife, I realized what kind of "smart" things to expect in fanfiction.
ForceRecon
ForceReconLv1

Fantastic response, this is how all authors should be, keep it up!

Gonshido:Thanks Darwin for the great review. I have read this review multiple times and I am still re-reading it. I will try to improve, as you have pointed out my mistakes. This is my first time writing anything, so I am very bad at writing (as you can see), but I will try and again thank you.
Bob_Uchiha_XD
Bob_Uchiha_XDLv4

MC is stupid. 🤣

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WiLeYBiGhEaD
WiLeYBiGhEaDLv13

Given the ratings I was hoping for more(21 ch). To some extent, the premise is interesting and the story certainly is unique, trying to avoid common plots of other mha fanfics while having decent editing so that there are not any glaring spelling errors. I was entertained by some of the story, but often ripped from it by jarring plot choices or characters. The delivery is average to below average. The worldbuilding is very shallow, with nothing more than stating which world the mc is in and that he has a gta san andres system. Anyone not familiar with both will be lost. It is a small issue for a fanfic compared to the rest though. The characters are also inconsistent with famous characters like endevour not possessing his famous temper, while the mc consistently acts different from his thoughts. It is understandable to some extent that seeing someone being hurt makes him forget his own safety, but his approach to helping is stupid given his situation. Also, there is almost nothing known about the mc aside from him liking san andres enough to memorize the cheats and that he owns a noodle shop. No goals, hobbies, likes or dislikes. Only that he wants to be a hero and thinks evil villans should be killed, also with no reason. The government or others not investigating a quirkless who beat down Muscular with a kitchen knife is a clear example of this stories biggest fault. Believability and internal consistency are sorely lacking. I get that for a fanfic genre of an mc who uses system cheats that there will be a lack of reason for the sake of enjoyment, but it really goes to far. The mc being recognized by Endevour by purposefully letting him win a fight without him flaming in anger or asking why a quirckless is so strong he can create shockwaves with his punches was where I stopped. Overall, you may enjoy it as many seem to. Despite its faults, it is unique and without the poor grammer than many fanics have making it easy to read. But the lack of internal consistency and poor conflict resolution overshadow the rest for me.

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