Okay, let's write a review. Your story is good, it has a solid plot, but it misses the mark if you ask me. Rather than showing us the protagonist going to different worlds, making friends and enemies, overcoming different dangers and traps, and then dying and going to the next world, leaving all he learned to love behind, you lose that opportunity and focus too much on how he was detach from those lives. Plus, the idea of the main character having full memories and consuming the recipient's soul leaves much of the exploration of the world out of the picture, because he already knows it all. I would recommend telling less and making the exploration more tie to actions and movement, as of now it feels like reading an encyclopedia. Less is more, let the reader fill the blanks and create the ambiance; if you describe everything you will end with a boring list of details that don't sum anything of value to the flow. The second chapter, for example, was boring, it had too much description and little action, and action is really important, I found myself looking forward, seeing when it was going to end, and wanted the protagonist to do something and discover things, not the protagonist going outside to give me a tour of the already known world. Another thing, your character is too perfect, make his experiences have more of an impact on his mind and soul, so far it's like he was an immortal god from the get-go, never being a human, never having time to reflect upon his actions, and inactions. As I said, the story has potential, but it needs a little more polish. Keep up the good work and having fun, best regards, Esoj Vi Aifos.
