Review Detail of Allen_Walker1 in Lightning and Fire Given Form(REPOSTED)

You had a great idea, interesting and with a lot of potential, however what makes me leave it is the way to include the characters, the Reynare characters is an example, first with the gear, it still seemed acceptable there, then we have the revelation of that she is the granddaughter of the angel of death, that took me out of the story, apart from her attitude, it seems to me that she does not react as expected of someone who is hardly an orphan and not to mention the affection towards Mc, but anyway, I think that you could do a better job with an OC and introduce him to another situation, maybe a rescue of a villain or find her right after the tragedy of her parents, it would put a value on the affection for the MC and also add a touch of drama to the story, I loved the first chapters, however I leave it for this, I hope the criticism will serve you, otherwise just take it as I rambled, good luck with the story