WulvenclaveLv142yr

2021-12-16 22:47

So, with a solid rating of 4.6 (5/5/4/4/5), I shall begin my review for this read. I’m currently 140 chapters in at the writing of this review. I noticed a distinct lack of proper critique in the reviews, which is present all across webnovel, so I’m going to do some proper critiquing now and hope the author will use my feedback to better their writing. I will point out to the keyboard warriors that I’m not hating on this novel and I really do enjoy the read. Now that that’s out of the way it’s time to start actually talking. In the format of webnovel, I shall start with writing quality. 5 stars. I was initially surprised by the lack of mistakes for a novel with such low popularity (for lack of a better term). It is very clear that the author puts a lot of effort into keeping the sentences flowing cleanly and I don’t have much else to say. Next up, stability of updates. Consistent, reliable and predictable. Not much else to say. 5 stars. Now story development. 4 stars. The overarching “push” behind the story is great and the premise is unique and interesting. It is definitely an original work that pulls some minor details from other works either intentionally or via the “great collective unconscious” (joking obviously). The story always seems to have this overhang of doom that looms in the background giving the reader a sense of expectation for the inevitable (read it and you’ll know what I mean). The thing that brought this section down to 4 stars, though, is something the author does in the first roughly 70-80 odd chapters and that is skipping ahead and reading back the fight scenes. Now, don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a bad writing technique. The problem is that it is used too much to skip over fight scenes. It feels as if the author didn’t want to detail a proper clash so they just skipped it and then included it in a flash back as major events with no fine details. The first time it was fine, the second… ok, the third, no. Too much. Whether this was intentional or not is irrelevant because the author seems to have picked this up later on and I haven’t seen it used recently thus, 4 stars. …I’m just going to leave the character design until last… World background is great. It’s always hard to do this section without spoilers but I covered pretty much everything I wanted to in the story development section. Unique premise, original world and most definitely engaging. The background for the world is head-scratchingly interesting and I’m looking forward to the time (if it comes) that the author goes into more detail about the Jonah-reign (read and you’ll know what I’m talking about). That’s all I have to say here. 5 stars. Finally… character design. *Mega sigh*… Let’s go with the good first before I start my rant. So, the 5 MCs are well designed. They have well defined personalities and the author does a great job of sticking to them and making them feel more human, more real. We see most things from Tess’s point of view, though, it is in third person so we do get thoughts and ideas from the others. Tess is definitely my best pick for this since we know the most about her. It is clear for much of the novel that she is in a state of relative denial and that’s a fantastic touch. Human beings don’t get over things quickly, especially adults and yes, they aren’t really that old in the greater scheme of things but it is clear that Tess is a realist and, as a realist myself, we try to rationalise just about everything that could be perceived as “unnatural”. As a side note, I am definitely more open-minded than Tess. This review is already getting long so let’s start my rant. I apologise ahead of time, author. Please don’t hate me. The last major character so far… I F**KING HATE THE “COMMANDER” WITH A BURNING PASSION! *Deep pants* And no I’m not talking about hating his personality or about hating his actions (maybe that second one. Keep reading you’ll see what I mean) those are both fine. I’m looking from a creator’s perspective. From the point of view of someone who helps to design characters for stories and then integrate them into said stories (I’m an editor. It’s what I do). The “commander/sensei” is so badly integrated as a part of this novel that I need to do this rant because the internet doesn’t need my opinion/advice but will get it anyway. When going about helping author’s write, I always tell them this one thing THE LITTLE DETAILS ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT. I’m not sure who is more stupid, the “commander” or the person who gave him that station in the first place because he CLEARLY doesn’t qualify. Seriously. I know more about military command than this poser and I haven’t touched the military with a ten-foot barge pole. This guy is either the most ingeniously designed, STUPID character or the most TERRIBLY designed, smart character. Okay, now that that is off my chest, let me explain. The commander or sensei, as the MCs call him, does not have a poorly designed personality so much as he clearly isn’t capable of doing his job properly or he doesn’t have his priorities straight (see my point before the ‘or’). Before going any further, - SPOILERS AHEAD – This “commander” sent a group of 5 teenagers to retrieve an item that could contribute to the end of the world WITHOUT telling them about the elites (super powerful monster-human hybrids basically) that were also trying to get this item. This group of 5 had barely met/bonded, had only 3months? of training, had no semblance of proper teamwork and were told they were the “guardians of the planet” with literally no other context given to them, Oh and did I mention that they are being held there essentially against their will. Then the “commander” had the gall to BERATE THEM WHEN THEY FAILED! AS IF THAT WOULD BE A SURPRISE! In summary, he’s gone “so you’re the guardians of the world and I need you to collect this super dangerous item that could end the world. Here’s a portal and a return glove (I’ll get back to this) off you go” *proceeds to shove the 5 of them through a teleporter with no further information, explanation or context*. Spoiler alert THEY F**KING DIED, kind of. If you’re not getting my point now then you have brain damage (joking obviously). Now this return glove, this ‘communicator’ lets the five of them teleport instantly when activated together but not separately (they have one each). There is a bit of in world jargon as to why it is set up this way but it was also stated on more than one occasion that it is possible for a single communicator to facilitate a solo teleport with the trade-off being a 10 min timer where the individual must remain perfectly still. Problem is, it is only coded for the group teleport and they aren’t supplied with a second to facilitate the solo teleport. And the reason, “can’t have you abandoning your comrades”. Okay. Fair enough. They’re untrained, no comradery, barely any teamwork I can see why this might be an issue… EXCEPT IT’S MISSING THE BIGGER PICTURE! This communicator is THEIR ONLY RETREAT OPTION! There is NO PLAN B! What if a communicator is damaged and/or lost or if one of the 5 gets restrained, killed, or otherwise indisposed? What if a communicator is taken/stolen? THEY”RE F**KED IS WHAT HAPPENS! ARE YOU GETTING MY POINT NOW! “Oh, oh but Wolf, maybe the commander did this on purpose to spark their pow- “THEY”RE FIGHTING FOR AN ITEM THAT COULD END THE F**KING WORLD WHO THE F**K CARES! And you cannot argue because the dipstick BERATED THEM FOR FAILING AS IF IT WAS SOMEHOW THEIR FAULT! In case it wasn’t abundantly clear I HATE this F**KING character AND the logic behind him. Sun Tzu, Art of War “Know thy enemy and know thy self”. The 5 DIDN’T know what they were facing or even what they themselves were at this point. It is no wonder they failed and all the responsibility for that failure falls on the commanding officer. - SPOILERS END – The above is only ONE instance of this because they get NO information on even the lesser missions besides “your target is a leak, go kill it” or “your target is this crime lord, go stop him”. Now that my point is made, let’s go over the simplest way to fix this issue. Information. That’s it. If he simply provided information on the mission to the five then that would make him an infinitely better commander and a more respectable individual. “Oh, Oh but Wolf what if he doesn’t actually have the informati-“ Shut up, I already considered that. Even if a gave the greatest benefit of the doubt and assumed the mission was time sensitive and had to be started immediately with no time to scout, there is still a load of information that could be a potential game changer (book reference lol) that he could provide them and it all boils down to, where are they going? I’m not talking about “Oh I’m going to Alabama”, no, I mean, what is the environment? Where are they fighting? Indoors? Outdoors? What’s the weather like? Is it a mountain or marsh? This all affects the outcome of a fight and if the team knows this information, then they can use it to their advantage or at least plan for it. He could give this information while they’re prepping to leave so that it’s fresh in their heads and they’re not wasting time. THERE IS LITERALLY NO REASON NOT TO! Thankyou for reading my rant and I apologise again author but I hope you can get something from this. Altogether 4 stars. The commander is just one character and the rest are great, even if he does play a major role in the story. Is this novel a worthwhile read? Yes, yes, it is. In fact, it’s underrated and should be more popular than it is. It is definitely a unique read and the author clearly loves it. In the end though, the reader is their own best critic so give it a go and see if you like. You have about 50 chaps to make a decision. 1770 words later… F**k.

Becoming Monster

Mackaina

4.8

249 Chs