Review Detail of Shut_Your_Trap in Chaos' Heir

Spoilers Through Chapter 219 I will start this review by saying most people who like these kinds of stories will love this book. It has a well written romance aspect which I found suprising. It has some great world building: not the best I have seen, but very good. Here are the things I found hard to ignore. I think the side characters and villains need more developement in terms of their backstory and motivation. Most characters besides the main ones don’t have any drive from what I can tell (as in, they have no goals), which makes their characters seem very two dimensional. Martha, Luke, etc. all serve a purpose, but we don’t really know anything about the characters themselves: their hopes and dreams, what they want to do through talks with the main character. The author will have moments telling us that Martha and Khan talk about personal things, but I want the author to show us these personal things they talk about. I believe it would enhance the story even further. Despite this, however, the usage of side characters throughout the story I think makes up for the lack of side character and villain motivation. I will say though, that if the author were to include more interesting backstory than just, (spoiler) for example, Illman’s main purpose when he gets introduced is as Khans romantic rival for Liiza, then I would be more excited to read more and more. My biggest gripe with this novel, however, is the author’s constant use of the phrase “the latter”. Instead of using the person’s name or some other descriptor, the author over uses this phrase and it makes it very hard for me to keep reading, especially when it is used upwards of 5 times a chapter. It seems most prevalent in the chapters containing fights. It makes the writing seem repetitive and boring, and it always brings me out of the scene instead of enhancing it. It needs to be used much, much less. Another problem I have is with the romance. I think the developement of the romance between Khan and Liiza was great and it fealt organic, but there were many aspects I found unrealistic. Why would no one question or try to follow Khan when he would leave to be with Liiza? Wouldn’t Kelly be concerned and try to follow him? I find it unrealistic that Khan and Liiza could get away with a relationship for that long without anyone becoming suspicious enough to at least try and follow him. And sure, you might say there was Illman, but I don’t think anyone would see him as much more than a slight bump rather than actual romantic contest. I like that Illman came to his senses, but I think it should have been drawb out longer to threaten the relathionship with Liiza more. It would add wayyy more tension, and add to the story too. There were a lot of small things like this that I feel the author didn’t capitalize enough on because they wanted Liiza and Khan to end up together without any resistance, but it meant there wasn’t any tension at all, so it left me disappointed. Overall, I think this author is very good, but they definitely have a lot they could improve on that would take their story to another level.