Review Detail of Spities in ¦|¦|
Review detail
The chapters out so far are a very solid basis for a good story. The writing and grammar are average, with lots of randomly capitalized words in the middle of sentences, as well as a few phrases that don't quite make sense, and the odd typo. Regardless, it doesn't detract too much from the plot. The plot takes a lot of factors from the traditional system genre, giving the MC a powerful system that he can train as he gets more knowledge. I personally have no issue with a slightly overpowered system, but my main concern moving forward is how much the system does for the MC. So far it seems that whenever the MC needs any question answered he can just ask either the system or a side character to simply tell him. For example, being told when to use an item, or what systems are, and how they work. I think the MC has a lot of potential if he starts to solve or attempt to solve, his own problems. Keep it up!
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ArnolDadi
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That's something I thought about too, but he is a kid who only had little to no personal life, you would never expect him to make a decision on his own. Note that he had to suffer from those nightmares everyday thus hampering his mental development like shown in the other child like Sam who is shown to be of bubbly personality. As for the grammatical part, I guess ,it will have to wait till I get 50000 words mark and then refurbish all the chapters again. Thanks for the review. Also, the decision making part will come when the time skip occurs as that will give the boy enough time to develop himself in a spiritual level.