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lilhawk
lilhawkLv23yr
2021-08-07 00:34

Grammar and story both on point. Although the point may not be very new it's certainly an interesting take on it. One of the better novels of the genre. Cheers

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IEatChildren
IEatChildrenLv2

After reading this so far, you should read it too. This is what you call 'Show, not tell'. The author really detailed those are in need of details. It's quite rare to see other authors do 'Show, not tell.' When I started reading this, I stood to the point where I imagined everything single detail in my mind — It was as if I was in the story itself. You know the feeling of just sitting and listening in the sidelines? It's like I'm just the side character of the story. Sitting to where the MC doesn't notice you, that's what I imagine. Let's say, "Shivering feverishly, the young woman crept up the stairs of the old abandoned warehouse. A slight and startling tingle tiptoed down her spine, and she turned abruptly halfway up the flight of steps to see if someone had entered the decrepit building. Gazing intently around the lobby, the woman concluded that it must have been a breeze from the unlocked window. Cautiously this time, she continued up the rotting stairs. Upon reaching the second to last step, the young woman felt a rush of fear wash over her, and her head began to spin and the walls whipped around her – while her feet remained rooted to the steps. Desperately, she tried to scream, yet no sound escaped her mouth." In the passage given, you can already imagine everything, right? I'm the side character. She can't see me, but I can see her. That's what I think about this story. Overall, everything's great. I enjoy the narration of the story, a lot. If you read this, it isn't a waste of time. You'll be in Luck to read the story the author made.

Jo_J
Jo_JLv13
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