Review Detail of Shin_Senpai in Bugged System
Review detail
The story most of the time feels like an info dump. Their interactions with other characters are not interesting and feel bland and feel robotic due to no emotion in their conversation. Character design is non-existent to barely existent. All are typical characters that have existed in many other similar stories. Some scenes don't make sense such as when the MC did something that should be beyond his capabilities the receptionist was just surprised but she should have been skeptical and tell the association to investigate. I mean it's not like there are that many hunters who are capable of doing the same. The scene where the guild leader became suddenly playful was out of place. His near nonchalant attitude is when he got the system was not natural. He was just a normal civilian and should have been more surprised and skeptical rather than instantaneously accepting. The story development well is very bad. He became a hunter capable of defeating an S rank in a few chapters. Also, why wasn't his rank updated? I mean to even fight with an S rank on somewhat equal footing should have improved his rank. Although he lost in the official match. He did fight equally and that should have at least made him an A-rank. The world background can be considered copying. There are literally hundreds of others with similar settings and this is not that different. Author rather than the story first you should fix the way you write. Since the story currently feels like a info dump. So don't get discouraged but try to better yourself.
Bugged System
Quinns
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This is all I have to say dear reader...The way the protagonist's personality had changed is still unknown for now. Also...the protagonist's background is still not yet revealed...it has only portrayed the surface of his deep background as a character and it will be known in the later chapters. The reason the duel Yu Jin-Ho and Dam Min-Jee had didn't became controversial is because the protagonist lied about their match. He told everyone present that the White Lotus Guild master was holding back against him when in truth the guild master took the match seriously in which the Spectators easily believed because an S-rank vs a D-rank is already a supposed mismatch. So the resulting outcome...their duel was not taken seriously and was just treated as a mere low ranked hunter overestimating himself...It's stated after their duel. The characters is as what you said...barely represents real characters. That's true...I'm not really trying to relate my characters from real one's because firstly it's fictional, I believe most characters in novels are also fictional characters personalities that differ from reality. The story is yet in it's initial phase so the pace is somewhat still boring as the plot is yet to come. The few little chapters are merely introductions to future chapters that's to come. They are part of the puzzle that will build up future plotlines. If you ever finished reading this...Thank You☺
Mate don't worry and keep writing. Just try to fix the way you write by adding in the details not just making info dump and I didn't ask you to show the character as real but make a meaningful character. I mean as it stands no character even the mc has interested me. So you should delve into their personal lives and give them different personalities, quirks of their own, etc. That would make the characters more interesting and complex. Although since you are a new writer you wouldn't do as good but keep trying.
Kurt_Inocencio_2281:This is all I have to say dear reader...The way the protagonist's personality had changed is still unknown for now. Also...the protagonist's background is still not yet revealed...it has only portrayed the surface of his deep background as a character and it will be known in the later chapters. The reason the duel Yu Jin-Ho and Dam Min-Jee had didn't became controversial is because the protagonist lied about their match. He told everyone present that the White Lotus Guild master was holding back against him when in truth the guild master took the match seriously in which the Spectators easily believed because an S-rank vs a D-rank is already a supposed mismatch. So the resulting outcome...their duel was not taken seriously and was just treated as a mere low ranked hunter overestimating himself...It's stated after their duel. The characters is as what you said...barely represents real characters. That's true...I'm not really trying to relate my characters from real one's because firstly it's fictional, I believe most characters in novels are also fictional characters personalities that differ from reality. The story is yet in it's initial phase so the pace is somewhat still boring as the plot is yet to come. The few little chapters are merely introductions to future chapters that's to come. They are part of the puzzle that will build up future plotlines. If you ever finished reading this...Thank You☺