It is hard to rate a novel with only 13 chapters so take this with a grain of salt. It is interesting but very messy. The premise is intriguing, we are exposed to Danmachi, shield hero, and dxd all foreshadowing possible storylines and connections. His unlimited wishes may turn many away but if used well could also be really interesting. It is the epitome of op mc wish fulfillment. However, the delivery is lacking. The grammer is average broken fanfic english and many explanations for what or why things are currently happening are missing. Ideally it would be written into the story seamlessly but even info dumps or the mc’s thoughts/reasonings are missing. There is also zero world building and the mc’s abilities seem to randomly change without explanation. The pacing is also uneven. Its not that having the mc be summoned to another world from dxd soon after reincarnating is a bad idea. But it happens way too fast (1-2 short chapters)and without any explanation for the mc’s change in abilities when it happens. There are genuine sections of dialogue which is positive, but they are not strong enough to hold up everything else. Overall, I am interested but confused by much of what happens. I would recommend slowing down the pace a bit to fill in the present. It seems like thw author has an interesting story they want to convey, but do not fully communicate it in writing. This story needs more who, what, when, where, and why.
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I'll explain about the ability on the next chapter,this is my second novel and i really have a messy writing:) Thank you for explaining.
Np. It is indeed messy and needs some flushing out. But I can see the creativity poking through the cracks and that is half the battle that many fanfics never accomplish. I look forward to future improvements :)
Im_Noob17:I'll explain about the ability on the next chapter,this is my second novel and i really have a messy writing:) Thank you for explaining.
Is the mc a man or Woman?
Im_Noob17:I'll explain about the ability on the next chapter,this is my second novel and i really have a messy writing:) Thank you for explaining.
Honestly, you could have taken all these chapters that you wrote and build up your story based on what you've written here. I'm not really a professional so take this with a grain of salt but I think breaking these chapters down into two or more chapters with 1000+ words is quite doable. To write a chapter that is not that confusing to others, I'd suggest for you to first, think about what you're writing. Is it something that you will understand? If it is not that confusing to you, ask yourself why. Is there an information that you know of that made it not so confusing? You're to author so of course this will be the case most of the time. With what you know as the base, see if the information that you know is already written, if not, ask yourself whether you want to 'tell' it to the readers or not. Also, you could proofread your chapters many times in order for you to spot easy to notice errors. This is where you'll find if your story by far makes sense or not from a reader's perspective.
Im_Noob17:I'll explain about the ability on the next chapter,this is my second novel and i really have a messy writing:) Thank you for explaining.
