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YueLqn
YueLqnAuthor3yr
2021-05-23 12:41

Joining in on the self review thingy hehe. As said in the synopsis, this is my first ever book. I have not plotted this out AT ALL and I am writing whatever comes to mind, bear with me ah. Originally, the story was about a girl named Valentine who got reincarnated into another world, then it turned into an imaginary world then virtual? idk . I don't really know how to rate this, as my personal feelings might influence my opinion but here I go: Grammar is okay, nothing to bad like misspellings (if there is, I will edit the chapter) but sometimes there are random info dumps. Story development is... scattered. the first chapter is just an overview of Vals life, 2nd chapter is okay but after is just whacky. Chapter 8, 9 is stupid and 10 is just an info dump. I will try and fix that I swear-- Character design, I draw. never wrote with freedom so the characters are very 2d or 1d. no distinct personality for the mc yet and its a bit blank. Updates right now is irregular. It used to be every 2-3 days but chapter 9 and 10 have a week seperation but there was a double chapter(Auxiliary ch) so i guess it fine FOR NOW. Because I don't really know how to continue this, sometimes there will be long periods of time with no chapters. Don't worry, Im not gonna drop this randomly. If I ever put this on hiatus or drop it, ill put up a chapter saying so. World background, as a SMOL BBY with NO EXP IN THE ADULT WORLD I can say that I have no idea what Im doing. Not gonna rate this. All of the world building is based off of what I have read, and google. Names are just foreign translations of other languages, which are translated by google so nothing too accurate. overall, its very crude and it sucks. Maybe Val's chara design looks cool and the grammar is okay but everything else sucks. . Yall can put questions in the comments, Ill try and answer them when I get the time. Criticism is welcome, but no promises in fixing them if I already made them ah

VANHA

YueLqn
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27 Chs

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Other Reviews
akabadwriter
akabadwriterLv1

Hey, I was really enjoying this novel, I hope you don't give up on it. You could make the protagonist finish the things she has to do, and go to another continent to explore new things, I was very interested in a plot, as if she were a god, you write in indrid's vision that the game is very real From your perspective, then I would say that "VANHARPG" is another world that actually exists in reality, but on different planes, I hope your writer's block will go away and you'll get back to writing. I'd love to suggest a plot twist...

3yr

Sakires_LK
Sakires_LKLv1

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3yr
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