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NikTitanik866
NikTitanik866Lv33yr
2021-04-13 16:02

It is average. The grammar and dialogue need polishing. IDK about updates. In terms of story development, it is average and feels very rushed. The scene changes at a breakneck pace. Most of the time the plot just leaves a "wut?" in my mind. Character design is OK I guess. The MC is just running around without thinking and even when he does it feels like bullshit since the stakes seem to be too much to react to them so eloquently. The goddesses and the advisor are pretty meh. World background is kind of the worst. I have absolutely no idea where anything is. Just stuff like "tree", "dungeon" etc. For someone who had just been transported into another world, the MC has absolutely no curiosity. It is all bland and heavily relies on the reader already having prior isekai experience. This is a critic, not a hate comment. For a starting author, it's quite decent. Good luck!

Kingdom Building 101

zelotwo02
Not enough ratings
20 Chs

Liked by 1 people

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Replies2
zelotwo02
zelotwo02Author

Thanks for the review~ English isn't my first language so my grammar isn't good Yeah the story is pretty fast paced, I know that too when I read my novels, and to be honest I don't know how to improve it, Is having a longer monologue better? wouldn't it be boring? etc. I need help in this The character design is... Im trying to improve The world building is.... bad haha I don't have enough vocabulary to describe things And originally I only plan the mc to have that skull ability and as I keep writing I just add things like this and that lol it's like I'll just write what's on my mind at that time anyways thanks again for reviewing I'll keep that in mind and try to improve

3yr
1
NikTitanik866
NikTitanik866Lv3

You are welcome. Just a hint. If you wish to truly broaden your vocabulary and especially your scene description skills, you should read some older British novels, especially detective ones since the environment is of great importance in them. As for the monologue, yes it should definitely be longer. Thoughts are faster than talking so you can always cram more in a smaller amount of time. Your dialogue is good. **: English isn't my first language either.

zelotwo02:Thanks for the review~ English isn't my first language so my grammar isn't good Yeah the story is pretty fast paced, I know that too when I read my novels, and to be honest I don't know how to improve it, Is having a longer monologue better? wouldn't it be boring? etc. I need help in this The character design is... Im trying to improve The world building is.... bad haha I don't have enough vocabulary to describe things And originally I only plan the mc to have that skull ability and as I keep writing I just add things like this and that lol it's like I'll just write what's on my mind at that time anyways thanks again for reviewing I'll keep that in mind and try to improve
3yr
1
Other Reviews
zelotwo02
zelotwo02Author

Well... It should be fine right? to review my own nove all five? but I'll be honest here, writing quality and the others are so-so but I'll try to improve

3yr

MightyEagle
MightyEagleLv15

Off to good start! [img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp][img=exp]

3yr
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