Review Detail of TaintedMetal in Rise of The Forsaken Ones

The novel talks about King Johnson (which is a notable easy name to remember tbh) and his adventures following his transmigration to what appears to be another world altogether. Themes like transmigration, reincarnation to some degree and fantasy elements and worlds would be familiar for readers of this genre. THE GOOD - This is probably the first transmigration novel in a while that I've gotten to know about the protagonist beyond just 1 chapter. Most novels like this go way too fast in having the MC die and then transfer for a new body, but here, the author takes their time in giving us a glimpse at King, who he is, who were the people in his life, and what came to be prior to his transfer to a new body and world. - Chapters 1 and 2 have a good flow. Chapter 1 is a glimpse of King's unfortunate situation at prom night with his girlfriend Casey, then transitions to chapter 2 where they break up due to King's dedication (based on his speech) to venture into gaming, which disappoints her greatly. - Chapter 3 is unique because most novels that have the MC moving into a new body just go there, but here? King has a conversation with a supposed figure who would be the new body King would later inhabit (I believe) - Chapters 4-10 have a good amount of telling and showing world building elements. Idea wise I can see what this novel wishes to tackle on. In addition, King also has some interactivity with the world, allowing us the reader to paint the picture in essence: imagine everything through his eyes. He's very much aware of the world he's in, and that deserves a praise. What might need some rework Note: this part of the review is derived from the current state of chapters, and I do believe that the author is currently doing rework as of this review being written. - Chapters 1 and 2 have a good flow overall in terms of moving from one chapter to another. However, the telling of Casey and King first meeting including their relationship seem very fast paced, too fast for me to grasp their characteristics. Their dialogue, despite having a good amount of grammar, is equally fast paced in a seemingly rushed way. - While on the subject of Chapter 2, the fight scene between Derek and King after the former acted like a jerk to Casey? Unfortunately it was too fast. At only 2 paragraphs the fight scene blitzed past by me faster than a bullet train or even Sonic the Hedgehog on Redbull. I can understand the need to get straight to the point in the story, but a little bit more length into the fight including imagery (like how bad were the punches/kicks) and maybe some trashtalking dialogue in between would have been more of a "showing" scene of a fight. Same goes for the aftermath of the fight, what happened with witness accounts and Mother Olivia was too fast. I think it's best to make them longer with more dialogue. - While the reasoning behind King's breakup with Casey is logical, the overall execution is a bit awkward. Maybe it's just me, but I feel they were talking in an AI style of speech. There were words, but I didn't really sense the emotion. - Chapters 5-10: The content is good, but I feel there should be more showing than telling. Telling is good to summarize some things, but perhaps parts where King learns about the types of places in this world, it could have been shown via dialogue like the butler teaching him, or his parents teaching him. Conclusion: This is a novel with good ideas overall, from start to finish. Said ideas and structure is clear from King's life and his situation following his transmigration. However, many parts related to the world building have a lot of telling, and in some cases particularly the early chapters things are a bit to fast paced. I trust the author is doing their absolute best in order to make this story have the best reading experience for the audience. The ideas are there and the execution for the most part is fine, but it will be even better once you have all of the things I have mentioned worked out. What you're doing good: keep at it. What needs to be fixed in order to make it better: take your time on it. I look forward to reading this novel again when it has its edits and to see what else plays out for King and his journey.