Cinderella Twilight! This story has a great potential albeit in need of a bit of grammar work. The opening with the burning mansion is impactful enough to encourage readers to keep going. I'd like to have some more substance added to scenes, tho. At least for up to where I've read, it's all dialogues and actions. A screenplay would be fine with that, but a novel needs a bit muscle on the bones. Anyway, I like how it's going so far. Please keep up the good work!
Luzparadise_
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