Ahh... I like that you started with a family and the protagonist being extraordinary, better than the stereotype loses. The writing was fair and easy to hook into...while the character tone looked a bit unnatural. might work on that. There's not may error I can found throughout the first six chapters, the author has worked his muscle on that. Overall it has potential, like most other vrrpg novels, though its seemed a bit different than those. Good luck Author for the sprity...
DaisukiDayoSenpai
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