Review Detail of greyknight in Jacaranda, Please Fall on Me (HAITUS)

Hello author, first, I want to say that I loved your detailed descriptions; it helped me feel more immersed in the story. I can tell it’s a gem in the works :) Although, I would like to put forward a suggestion; if you don’t mind, could you perhaps shorten the paragraphs more? I quickly perused ahead and noticed the paragraphs were consistently on the thicker side. It is quite hard to read when there are multiple layers of words stacked on top of each other. I think other readers likely would appreciate this too, and newcomers may be easily more hooked if they were shorter. Maybe an average of 2-3 sentences each paragraph would be great! This is just a suggestion, please do what you personally decide is best! Thanks again for creating this story! V◕ฺω◕ฺV