Review Detail of TheFailedOne in Failed Experiment No. 3

Excuse me for the continuous changing of tenses in the middle of a paragraph. Anyway, there will be a lot of mistakes but I'll do my best to make it readable. I can do at least that much. I only have the general outline of the story so I'm making up the details as we go. In that sense, we are literally in this together. Sounds romantic isn't it? ALL HAIL THE SANDWICH!