webnovel
Ullyr
UllyrLv153yr
2021-05-14 17:17

I've read through the first 20 chapters now, and I will go through my review in the order the stars are labeled: 1. The writing quality is fair, I would certainly say that it is above average for WebNovel as a whole. Without the grammatical errors, this novel would be twice as good. 2. The story has developed nicely and so has our MC. We have a decent idea of why she acts the way she does and what changes her over time, great job here! 3. Character design, again, relatively descriptive with the characters and a great sense of character development with or MC. 4. Updating stability, I think a guarunteed chapter a day is a nice release rate and helps to not make the novel too rushed. Could even be slowed down to every other day if you want to take the time to increase the writing quality. 5. World background, Just from the first chapter I had a decent idea of what was going on. It was a bit quick and I would have liked to have seen some more detail. The descriptions over time do, however, give you a better idea of the world the author is trying to build. 4 stars here! Overall this novel has amazing potential, the plot is interesting and the development is decently paced. The only thing really holding it back is the grammar. I will continue following our MC and reading the new chapters as they come out!

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Qwynzelle
QwynzelleAuthor

Thank you for the detailed review! I will consider reducing the release rate and work on the quality of the story even more with ^these^ in mind [img=recommend]

Other Reviews
Aysel_Inara
Aysel_InaraLv10

[Reviewed on: 08-07-2021] Reading status: [Read up to 7 chapters] [Basic strong point: Grasp on vivid descriptions, effortlessly indulging] [Basic weakness: Character's odd speech at times] GOOD POINTS: - Vivid imagery, readers can grasp and play the whole scene in their minds effortlessly - The storyline is moved by the MC, who drives the scenarios and plot by her acts - The sense of alienation is highlighted element, since the MC is an outsider in another world - It is still unclear what exactly the world is and the setting is, though it states a year but that's not enough. Thus, the mysteriousness is kept intact for readers to find out - There is magic, technology, superpowers, super humans, shade politics and whatnot - It appears to be something like 'sweet tooth' with mutations and tech tinge, but seeing the tag of 'transmigration' I really am confused myself. Nonetheless we will see about that further - The hype created with the situation in first 4 chapters is good enough to hook. Chapter 1 begins with a different approach from what we usually spot on WN. - Chapter 1 tells vividly about the history and the 'emergence' of the MC, without shoving the information down our throats - Chapter 2 clearly shows the grasp of the author over descriptive scenes (have patience while reading them) No doubt they are required and are strong point of author's style - Chap 3 and 4 moves faster and moves the plot to another setting - MC is a female with nearly no knowledge of her past or even a name, she is cautious, scared, interacts less - There are a lot of questions by the end of chapter 5, who is MC? How did her gemstone necklace work? What connection she has with Dette? What exactly is the world? - Since everything is told yet kept hidden, the amount of clues is reasonably given WEAKNESS: - Tense fluctuation begins from chapter 7 which no doubt surprised me since initial ones were wonderfully done - Capitalization is neglected at times - Missing punctuation - As a reader switching of narration from 3rd person to 1st person around chapter 6 was not appreciated, since most of us are used to 3rd person - Moreover 1st person felt 'detached' from the MC, which isn't the purpose of personal narration. It could've been executed well imo - The character of Dette is said to be a mother but her interaction with MC (after she saves her) is kinda childish. Her speech didn't appear to be off an adult as it should be, I had to go back to see whether I missed something or not about her age - In contrast the MC's character seemed mature even though she is seemingly a kid, probably a teen - The pace of the story felt abrupt to me, chapter 1-3 were moderate, whereas chapter 4-7 went on a fast pace - The unnecessary descriptions about the food, clothes and the stuff MC encounters in Dette's house should be concisely done, they felt longer and descriptive when they didn't hold any importance to the plot [Overall remarks: It's a good ride for people preferring a blend of magic and tech, who are willing to die each day with the sprinkles of clues and cliffhangers.] >.<

The_Procrastinator
The_ProcrastinatorLv4
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