The story is quite good but it has a lot of errors with punctuations and grammatical factors. I think you should review the draft after you complete writing before you publish the chapters cause those mistakes take a lot out of the story and destroys its flow. I also think you should put a little more work in the dialogues and some of them are really out of order. I hope you don't take it the wrong way. Keep up writing.
Anthony_Galloway
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