The story is strong. Reading it reminded me of the show where they introduce the character. So it was fun to read. The quality of writing is good. It is easy to understand and kept me engrossed in the story. Your vocabulary is strong. I did search some words on the internet as my vocabulary is a little weak, and I love that about reading. I can honestly say that you made me a little more intelligent. I am looking forward to the journey of the character. Oh and a little detail that you add, the last sentences in the chapters. That had put a smile on my face. I feel your every chapter is like an episode of a series that I want to keep reading. Only if you cut down huge paragraphs I would enjoy reading it more as it will become easier on the eyes. Overall, a good story with strong characters.
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