Review Detail of Harlos in Re:Sub [Go to Repost]
Review detail
Nothing really critical to criticize here. Only think I'd recommend is getting rid of the [Internally]. Up to Chapter 3 I haven't seen a reason at least why it wouldn't be possible to just go with ' ' as thoughts. The story is somewhat catchy because it has it's own, funny charm. Other than that: 1. Poor Lucas 2. Even more poor lucas 3. It reminds me a bit of Erased. But instead of traveling back in time to avoid something bad that happens around him, he dies when he misses the chance to fulfill his good deed.
Re:Sub [Go to Repost]
Geminel
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When I was first writing it in a separate word editor I was thrown off by not being able to do italics, so I started doing that to try and make it clearer, since he think-talks to both himself and 427 so often, wouldn't want to mistakenly look like external dialogue. I may edit it out to just be ' and see how it looks before I post next chapter, thanks! Also, poor Lucas.