Review Detail of Katzenliebe in Delited 5443

Overall, it's a really interesting story that draws the reader in. I like how the world was built and how the beginning started, also the mystery around the kids is really really interesting. I would recommend putting on a Mystery tag because it really does seem a lot more like mystery, more so about finding something out that just running around doing things. The grammar is understandable but it is worth it to look at some of the more major mistakes. 1. The tense, as someone (forgot who) said before, the tenses change quite a bit. It happens more frequently at first, but sort of mellows off, which is good, but it might come up again. The most frequent changes are from present to past in the span of a sentence, which isn't good, but also isn't deathly serious in my opinion since verb tenses are annoying. Just watch out for stuff like: [I watched the plates. I dry them] It doesn't get to a degree of no-one-can-understand-this, but it might grate some nerves. 2. The placement of some things in sentence are a bit awkward. Like ummm "... he wore casual clothes consisted of a grey hoody..." I think this might be a verb issue, but it could also be: [... he wore casual clothes that consisted of a grey hoody...] It's the order or just the placement of somethings that affect the writing. It's not really hard to read, but it affects the overall flow and makes it a bit awkward to read. 3. Sometimes, I see this quite a lot, but with these things [...] there's supposed to be a space after them at the beginning of a quotation. I think? At least, every time I type into Microsoft, they change it. So: ["...I used to like dogs."] is, I think not okay? ["... I used to like dogs."] is okay? It might not be an issue, but I think it might be...? 60% sure. NOT AT THE END THOUGH... IF IT'S AT THE END IT'S FINE... I think. Other than that, and what I think might be typos (? probably), there's also Hokkaido. It's Hokkaido. Idk why that screams at me. Idk if that's a typo, but it's Hokkaido. Anyway, it's good and I reallllly liked (this time I'll remember to save it in my library instead of going to history to find it OvO) the relationships between the characters. I also loved the world building, and I'd say out of everything, it's the world building that really hits it.