Review Detail of Ruben_Lopez_1453 in HP: A Magical Journey [Complete]
Review detail
I write this having reached chapter 55, I have mostly liked the story thus I'll try to offer my honest review, hopefully, some of the constructive criticism will be seen as what it is. 1.Your writing skills, structure, and pacing are great and clearly superior to most fanfic writers. Keep that way. 2.The world-building is solid enough for an AU. No change needed there. 3.Some comic gags have a weak punchline but most reach their objective. No change needed there. 4.The Story development although good enough miss the point of what fanfiction should be, the interactions between the main characters and your original character almost don't exist, or at least in any meaningful way. 5.Sometimes the OC plays the part of a reluctant character, a modern trope that many find redundant. Fortunately, this doesn't happen that often and it's mostly at the beginning of the story. 6.A romantic interest is needed to give your OC something besides his love for magic and Machiavellian plans, cause, to be honest, it gets kinda boring, like modern children's cartoons boring seeing a guy plan and scheme so much.
HP: A Magical Journey [Complete]
FictionOnlyReader
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1. Thank you for the praise! 2. I will continue to develop the world-building so maybe one day it stands out. 3. Aww shucks! No comedy, no life! I want to achieve the comedy gold status and will soldier on till I reach comedy central. 4. Hmm... while some may like the point that he doesn't interact with the main cast, but I see your point. It will be in GoF where his interactions with the main cast start to show up more. 5. Can you please, elaborate on this. I don't get the meaning of this sentence. I would be thankful if you add an example. 6. He is still a bit to young for a romantic interest. I have plans to start of the romance in GoF and it will be more on the forefront in OotP. Thx for reviewing. I hope you continue to read my novel. I hope I get to hear from you! .
Hey, FictionOnlyReader I just saw your response, thanks for taking time for your readers. Also, keep up the good work, about point five, here are some examples of reluctant characters, Neo from the Matrix, Sarah Connor from Terminator 1, Frodo Baggins from The Lord of the rings, Katniss Everdeen from Hunger Games, Han Solo from A New Hope, etc, those are great reluctant characters, the trope is difficult to pull off, mostly because it must have a slow boil to really pay off. About point 6 maybe a close friend that years later evolves into a romance, you write good fluff, and above all, it's your story, this is only the take of one of your readers, so do your thing man.
FictionOnlyReader:1. Thank you for the praise! 2. I will continue to develop the world-building so maybe one day it stands out. 3. Aww shucks! No comedy, no life! I want to achieve the comedy gold status and will soldier on till I reach comedy central. 4. Hmm... while some may like the point that he doesn't interact with the main cast, but I see your point. It will be in GoF where his interactions with the main cast start to show up more. 5. Can you please, elaborate on this. I don't get the meaning of this sentence. I would be thankful if you add an example. 6. He is still a bit to young for a romantic interest. I have plans to start of the romance in GoF and it will be more on the forefront in OotP. Thx for reviewing. I hope you continue to read my novel. I hope I get to hear from you! .