webnovel
skorwolf
skorwolfLv143yr
2021-03-04 05:07

Excellente book with great character building and good concept. Overall good grammar and it s an enjoyable reading. Hope u keep writing and have fun with it

Liked by 1 people

LIKE
empty img

No replies. Be the first!

Other Reviews
Jccr
JccrLv4

To begin with congratulations to the author for such an interesting start, and for planting such a "unique" mc construction. Now having so few chapters makes it hard to judge a story at first, so many times what starts out as something spectacular turns to crap. So in this review I will try from my experience as a reader of a lot of Harry Potter stories to give some parameters of what in my opinion differentiates a mediocre story from a good one. First is the beginning of a "villain" story, which is something that is rarely handled well, usually due to a lack of resistance to criticism from the authors. My advice if you are going to make a Grindelwald type character is not to do it half-heartedly, he has to be charismatic, manipulative, with a superiority complex, a bit detached from emotions and cruel. All of these characteristics have to be realistic and consistent, they can't be changed abruptly on a whim since the mc already had those characteristics at a young age. The second recommendation is to keep in mind that neither children are too smart nor adults are too dumb so the characters must be realistic, all adults cannot be easily manipulated nor can all children be naive, in other words use nuances. Third tip, and in my opinion what makes a story turn to shit. The world building should be "realistic" following the parameters Rowling builds in the Harry Potter world and innovating within them, in other words, no multi-verse travel, no talking dragons, or mystical powers of the founders, no Chinese novel type cultivation, no magical core, no accelerated growth, no mc being able to command adults as a child or teenager no matter how powerful he is (beware that this is a very common mistake), or that he is more powerful than Dumbledore in his first 5 or 6 years, etc. The important thing in my opinion is to plan the story well and have coherence with the world you are trying to raise, for example, Grindelwald is very hated by most in the magical world especially in the continent so being related to him is very dangerous so going to Hogwarts in a magical country where much of the high society is xenophobic and society is closed, besides being a breeding ground for young followers (as Voldemort did before he became a moron) is the right explanation why not to go to Dumstrang, a place where grandchildren of people killed by Grindelwald go. The last tip is don't rush the story, it has potential, many people will not like it and they are very vocal about it, but I assure you that many people like me like a cruel story, the one of a real villain, don't soften it to the (Mc). I also hope you don't concentrate on making the mc op give him time, he can be a genius but in life everything is time, no one can study 24 hours a day. This type of character should use politics like Tom Ridle in his time, concentrating on the young in, on the student body, adults do not follow children no matter how mature or powerful they are, is something to be proud of. Lastly don't forget Grindelwald is being hunted. Good luck with the story and to emphasize this is just my opinion and you don't have to follow it or share it. Lastly, I don't speak English very well so I translated it, sorry if I don't understand something very well.

Related Stories

Grandpa Universe In Multiverse [COMPLETE]

Alexander Maxim Universe, A kind old man, a war veteran, the most renowned scientist in the world. After a life full of hardship Alexander finally completes his promise to his dead wife. He made a super-effective medicine for cancer. But his kindness was greeted with ugly politics and betrayal from his loved ones. However, something different awaited him on the other side. ... After his death, due to unknowingly saving the lives of billions of people, God adopted him as his son and gave him the job to purify the multiverse from sin. From that day onwards, Angels and demons called him the God's Advocate. "My son, enjoy yourself while working, okay!. I don't want you to get bored from your job like Jesus. Damn, I miss Jesus, why did I send him there" ***Warning - No Harem, Extremely OP protagonist, more of a slice of life story.*** ___________________________ 2 Chapters daily [1st major world - Harry potter. Will not strictly follow the canon - Chapter 4-45] [2nd major world - Game of thrones - Chapter 47-105] [3rd major world - Marvel - 107 - 228] [4th major world - One Piece - 229 - 300] [5th mini-world - Star Wars - 302 - 329] [6th major world - Naruto - 330 - 402] [7th major world - Avatar: The Last Airbender - 406 - 452] [8th major world - Bleach - 460 -492] [9th major world - My Hero Academia - 493 -528] [10th major world - Full Metal Alchemist Bro. - 529 -584] [11th major world - Dragon Ball - 595 - 663] [12th Final Arc - DC world - 663 - 704] ____________________________ I do not own anything except the main character in this fanfiction. ____________________________ For advance chapters- www.patreon.com/misterimmortal Check out my other fics if you like this one by going into my profile. Thank You.

MisterImmortal · Book&Literature
4.8
704 Chs