Review Detail of pocchari in removed0

Me, a Liberal Arts major, trying to understand science...RIP. But seriously, this is a very creative premise! The writing is good, the characters are interesting, and the story world is clearly meticulously imagined. The only advice I can offer the author is to be mindful of long paragraphs, especially ones with fragmented dialogue. Appropriate paragraph breaks make for a more fluid reading experience. Looking forward to seeing where the story goes!