This story holds so much potential at first sight. However, upon reading the first chapters of the novel, there are some points I need to elaborate for improvement. After all, the room for improvement is right around the corner. Island of Memories; the title alone is a clickbait. As we all know, memories are everyone's weakness for love. In this story, I can decipher that the love between the leads is exceptional. The good points I have seen were: 1) The one-liner synopsis has an intriguing element that will make the readers attentive with the story. 2) The first chapter depicted the relationship between the FL with the ML inside the coffee shop. You could see that their ill-fated relationship is something that the readers wanted to know more in the newest chapters. There are things that are need of improvement: 1) The synopsis meant to have an overview of the novel. The one liner is good, but it lacked elements of explanation of what is the theme of the novel itself. 2) The redundancy and usage of dialogue tags. Usually, we use dialogue tags to provoke the statements of the character itself. Using "said" "asked" "shouted" repeated consistently all throughout the chapters. I suggest improving the use of other tags to embark emotions further. 3) Punctuations. The punctuations after dialogue tag should be in a comma form. Ex. "I'm inside the coffee shop," the girl mumbled. You could opt to split sentences which are hard to read. Ex. "I'm inside the coffee shop. I need to buy some coffee there." The girl mumbled in a low voice. She turned around to push the glass door behind her. These are the improvements I took down with the knowledge I have learned all throughout. Either way, you did a good job with your first chapters. You just need to nitpick everything and see if it fits the right emotions for your characters. Overall, you did a good job with your first novel!
Liked by 1 people
LIKE
highly appreciated!!
