Dear Author. you have done a amazing job on this book. and I have few complaints. but I will give you this tip. actions speak louder than words. what i mean by this is simple, all of you writing has to be clear. If a reader even for a second gets confused it can become very hard to get back on track. for example this is from you story. "stop talking about them!" Ryker suddenly react and walk out. there are several problems here but, the most glaring one is lack of context. How did he react? was it sadly, or was he mad? or could he just be annoyed. if you can start putting emotions into you characters you create a emotional connection between your characters and your readers. and if your readers are emotionally attracted to the story they will read to find out more about the characters they love. what I'm trying to say is that this story. no matter how good the plot is you will never make me cry. you will never make me want the protagonist to win. you will never touch me deep down. sorry for being blunt but it's true. look writing isn't easy. but if you don't look after the little details you book WILL die. I love this story and hate to see that before it had a chance. for some additional help watch overly sarcastic products' trope talks they are so help full. (I would watch the one about Mary sue first) again sorry for being blunt it's late at night and I can barely type so this will have many mistakes in the text deal with it. please
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LIKEon a side note if you need more help I could try to help.
