Review Detail of Alex1911 in The Novel's Extra's Extra
Review detail
It's a really interesting story but it's really difficult to read some time. First, the MC has a crippling depression and it got mention all the time, like the author is trying to rub it in the reader face, it's really annoying. Second, That b*tch Oliva(an OC) ask the MC how he can run faster than her and keep pestering the MC to train her just because because of that, his rank is higher isn't that common sense that he's better? She act like a b*tch and keep demanding it like he own her money or something, that development is ridiculously force. The author keep saying he has plan for that but until we get to that point readers patient would probably ran out. I even wonder if the author plan to make her a love interest. Third, the MC action is inconsistence, one moment, he kind of gave in to that b*tch Oliva and agree to train her other moment he act like an edge lord and ignore other opinion of himself ( his use of language is consider rude in Korea I think? he doesn't give a cr*p despite other telling him about it, there's a saying in Rome do as the Roman do and he say he doesn't want to stand out).
The Novel's Extra's Extra
dvelasquez
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Thanks for the feedback, man! I'll try to correct a few of the things you mention in the future! About the crippling depression, it stops after ten chapters or so. Apart from that, well, xD I'm trying to tone down the cursing (not taking it out, as it's still a quirk from him, albeit a bad one) And a few other things. Thanks for reading! Any future feedback would be appreciated!
Also, I think your MC is too much of a drama queen, sometime, majority of the chapter is just him complain about this and that or cursing at thing, it's a bit too much. Also the cursing part, it's a bad quirk of the MC is understandable but I find that other character in your novel like to curse a lot too, it's a bit unreasonable I think.
dvelasquez:Thanks for the feedback, man! I'll try to correct a few of the things you mention in the future! About the crippling depression, it stops after ten chapters or so. Apart from that, well, xD I'm trying to tone down the cursing (not taking it out, as it's still a quirk from him, albeit a bad one) And a few other things. Thanks for reading! Any future feedback would be appreciated!
Thanks, man! I'm trying to tone the curse down a little bit. Mm... Of the ones that actually curse a lot, they're just Olivia, my MC and if I'm not mistaken, the intelligent "monsters". Apart from that, the rest of the characters don't curse, or if they do, that's part of their original character (from the original novel). Thanks for reading!
Alex1911:Also, I think your MC is too much of a drama queen, sometime, majority of the chapter is just him complain about this and that or cursing at thing, it's a bit too much. Also the cursing part, it's a bad quirk of the MC is understandable but I find that other character in your novel like to curse a lot too, it's a bit unreasonable I think.
Yeah, them but if all the OC that's going to appear will end up cursing like that then I guess it's a bit weird?
dvelasquez:Thanks, man! I'm trying to tone the curse down a little bit. Mm... Of the ones that actually curse a lot, they're just Olivia, my MC and if I'm not mistaken, the intelligent "monsters". Apart from that, the rest of the characters don't curse, or if they do, that's part of their original character (from the original novel). Thanks for reading!
Nope, not all of the OC are cursing, Mark is also an OC and he doesn't curse, the same with Fran or most of the kids of the orphanage (Anne and Antonio just like to bicker between themselves like brother and sister almost usually do xD), and Park Min-Ho is the typical idiot that doesn't curse, but acts like he's too much, though, I'm not sure if I'm making it good with that character, as it's pretty much just thug A and doesn't appear much.
Alex1911:Yeah, them but if all the OC that's going to appear will end up cursing like that then I guess it's a bit weird?
This extra is very promising, would explain a lot of gap left, for example, FIRST the death of Nayun's brother by having a seed of one of the devildoes not imply to say that he dies but that could return in another body in the future so this work could prevent his death only by killing when the devil is born being only able is Chris with his power of a dragon god, according to the list has 80 can go to the worlds to kill each, third Hajin loves the Boss, I'm sorry for Nayun hahahh...