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Review Detail of bbugs61 in Eternal Realm of Tranquil Insanity

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bbugs61
bbugs61Lv22yrbbugs61

I have read all the way up to chap 36 so far. I am having a hard time finishing the book. The morgiana girl seems to be shaping up to be the love interest so far. It does seem way too early to commit to someone unless the character will grow later and be with someone else but I doubt it with the way the author is writing him up. For a thirty year old person he does act like a kid (even the excuse of staying in character is a little bit exxagerated). One of the main reason people read reincarnation/rebirth novels is to have an MC that acts maturely and does not get flustered when he see a beautiful woman everytime...like seriously there was Victoria's Secret models on earth, why is he getting shocked all the time. As for character design it is very vague, I don't know if the author doesn't know how to write character description or just women's description. But they are all beautiful and the only thing I know is their beauty ranking. Honestly if you have a hard time writing description, as the MC is from earth you can use famous people to describe them to help us picture them. Another weird thing, that huang jin or yin guy asked morgiana to be his concubine but his wife refused to give herself to another man (why the double standard? Is the wife ok for him taking multiple women ...is a woman recognized as the top beauty in a city, a genius cultivator OK with sharing her man? Unless there is some type of abuse going on either mental or physical I really don't see something like that going on. Even more in a world where power is everything, no matter how much power the man is, the more established a woman is the less she can compromise. There is a reason why rich men statistically don't marry rich, powerful, independent women. There is usually a disconnect. "power couples" is usually in the realm of fantasy, there is always a give and take in relationship even in so called power couple in real life. I will try to read more chapters and update later my review if I see some improvements as usually people get better as they write. It seems it is not a harem novel from an author comment I read. Which is pretty good. But just because it is not harem story doesn't mean author you should scare away from exploring relationship and growth. People change, and someone you liked at 15 may not be the right person at 40 or 30 when you know yourself more or just life happens. I mean the high divorce rate nowadays that divorce is no longer taboo is a good proof of that. So far the most fun and interesting love interest I have in asian novels here is the one from Swallowed star where the girl was obese and the MC still fell in love with her ( yes she lost weight but that was after the MC reciprocated her feelings).

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Eternal Realm of Tranquil Insanity

Anotoki

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bbugs61
bbugs61Lv2bbugs61

No worries. It is a good first attempt. There are virtual writing meetups on Meetups where you can write a passage and have others critique them. May help with Improving character description, learning how to add tension to stories etc. You can focus on parts you struggle with. Public libraries have writing workshops too to review and give feedbacks. I think you will improve more in these kind of settings in term of feedbacks quality. It is always good to Improve the craft with other advice.

Anotoki:This is pretty much what I struggled with and I take my time slowly, very slowly to fix it. I'm slower than most people, you see. That's just how I am from when I was a kid. Probably because I injured my head thrice to the point blood spilled out and I was sent to hospital (Miracle I'm still alive.) Anyway, thank you for critiquing my work. It courage me to improve and do better, slowly but eventually.
Anotoki
AnotokiAuthorAnotoki

This is pretty much what I struggled with and I take my time slowly, very slowly to fix it. I'm slower than most people, you see. That's just how I am from when I was a kid. Probably because I injured my head thrice to the point blood spilled out and I was sent to hospital (Miracle I'm still alive.) Anyway, thank you for critiquing my work. It courage me to improve and do better, slowly but eventually.

Anotoki
AnotokiAuthorAnotoki

Right, one more thing. If you think I'm not improving after you read fifty chapters or so, it's my fault. Don't hold back scolding me or anything :)