Writing Quality- I haven't seen triggering mistakes or obvious ones. Stability of Updates- So far stable. (Chapters 1-17) Story Development- A bit slow so I gotta give you a 4. Other than that it seems very good. Character Design- Vlad The Impaler is not as brash as you make him. He would have not made that request about food. He would have realized the merchant is greedy and flattered him to get a easy job. and slowly rise up the ranks and kill the merchant. Other than that good job. World Background- One piece with one of the (previous) strongest vampire's. Overall I think this fan-fiction has a lot of potential and I hope you keep up the good work. So you get a 4.6
Vostarian
Liked by 6 people
LIKEThanks for the constructive review. But you have some points there that don't do justice to the character. I also have to defend a little bit with the character part. At that point of the story when he was bought by Mayer and flattered him to have a request granted. I had 2 things in mind when writing that scene. First was to take into account Vlad's body situation. He is in the body of a malnourished kid so when you think about it what he needs the most at the moment was food, not a job. He's already a slave that would have to bust his ass to make money for the fat guy. Second thing that made me write that scene was when I constructed this Mayer character, taking into account his appearance you'll think that he likes to eat, so he wouldn't mind giving the MC a treat. So when added together all of this you'll have that scene, he already knew that he couldn't rise up in "ranks". A malnourished kid? Let's be a little bit realistic here, he wouldn't get anything as such from Mayer. It might be a fanfic, but I want to make it a bit dark. P.S: He's not the vampire guy, but the real dude.
Vostarian:Thanks for the constructive review. But you have some points there that don't do justice to the character. I also have to defend a little bit with the character part. At that point of the story when he was bought by Mayer and flattered him to have a request granted. I had 2 things in mind when writing that scene. First was to take into account Vlad's body situation. He is in the body of a malnourished kid so when you think about it what he needs the most at the moment was food, not a job. He's already a slave that would have to bust his ass to make money for the fat guy. Second thing that made me write that scene was when I constructed this Mayer character, taking into account his appearance you'll think that he likes to eat, so he wouldn't mind giving the MC a treat. So when added together all of this you'll have that scene, he already knew that he couldn't rise up in "ranks". A malnourished kid? Let's be a little bit realistic here, he wouldn't get anything as such from Mayer. It might be a fanfic, but I want to make it a bit dark. P.S: He's not the vampire guy, but the real dude.
WHAT_NO_MONEY:im really interested in vlad, in history he was supposed to be one of the most vicious tyrants.