Review Detail of Cosinus in God´s Eyes
Review detail
Simple is better! Do not use big words and verbs in tenses that don't make sense! Even a comma can stop the flow of the story, and here it does. Please stop using big words just to show your vocabulary! It makes the story so hard to read. Cut the words that are put there to fill the page. It is a wonderful story with amazing potential but the writer has to realize that a phrase has rhythm. You block that rhythm with complicated words, commas that are missplaced or verbs in tenses that make no sense. A story is like a river. It has parts where it rages - that is where the reader gets to read faster, action is at the peak and you just want to know more! At the same time the river has parts where it is calm. Here the reader feels like wrapped in a cocoon of fluffy words. The immersion in the story happens here because this leads to the action! so please try harder.
God´s Eyes
HideousGrain
Liked by 45 people
LIKEReplies6
Thank you for your review :D. I'm still trying to become better and its pretty obvious that my writing style/experience is still shallow compared to professional authors. With comments/reviews like yours I can always improve and see what flaws I have, which I can't really see from the Author perspective(Also because its an foreign language :D) Thanks a lot!
English is my second language as well. I train in it by reading a lot in English (books, articles, comics, whatever I get my hand on) by watching movies with no subtitles. But reading is absolutely necessary to become a better writer. I read a lot of books written by American or English writers in that language. I applaud your efforts, your imagination and your courage! If you live what you do you will want to get better! So good luck and work hard! I will continue reading and giving feedback! [img=update]
HideousGrain:Thank you for your review :D. I'm still trying to become better and its pretty obvious that my writing style/experience is still shallow compared to professional authors. With comments/reviews like yours I can always improve and see what flaws I have, which I can't really see from the Author perspective(Also because its an foreign language :D) Thanks a lot!
Feedback is always a blow. Even with the best of intentions the one that receives the feedback will feel attacked. It is normal but it is also a way to grow. I chose to be direct - even if it seems harsh - because it is way simpler to express what I thought about the writing.
Drunken_Scholar111:bit harsh but true
Feedback is always a blow. Even with the best of intentions the one that receives the feedback will feel attacked. It is normal but it is also a way to grow. I chose to be direct - even if it seems harsh - because it is way simpler to express what I thought about the writing.
Drunken_Scholar111:bit harsh but true
