Review Detail of Mukigen in The Potion of Rage
Review detail
First of all every time a new person is speaking there should be a new line. I would probably enjoy this story if not for the fact of that it's painful to read. Once grammar issue is fixed this novel will probably be above average at best. The protagonist seems too forgiving in the chapters of read almost reminds me of Japanese push over characters.
The Potion of Rage
ChrisMit
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Noted. I began to do something similar in another story with new lines for speaking. I will be doing edits here and there. This will be a larger edit. :P The protagonist personality is how I like it, though. I feel as though someone who flies off the handle every so often, (let alone at the drop of a hat) would simply leave ruins in their wake. I do understand the sentiment though. "Go to jail." "Ok." Is not something just anyone would do. This is my first novel though, so feedback is appreciated.