Review Detail of MrChinchila in Rising Dawn

Alright, here it is. From the review swap. My thoughts are: The first chapter felt like a generic battle. Yet, from chapter 2 onwards the story picks up momentum and becomes overall quite enjoyable. You a little problem with overwriting. What I mean is, you complicate some descriptions that could be replaced with shorter sentences and more direct ways of describing. Sure, the show don't tell rule is important, yet if you embellish too much, it can cause a slog on the pacing. I think that is all. Overall, good stuff.