Review Detail of TrueImmortal in Game Of Thrones: Baratheon The Schemer

Sorry, bro if it did not meet your expectations. I will try to explain my view on every problem you discussed.

For the first problem where everything goes well for the MC, I had to admit that is indeed a problem with the story. But he indeed had a few challenges here and there. The problem is that I pass through those problems fast and did not explain them in detail. He nearly died when he was fifteen and could have got himself killed when he disrespected Tywin and Rhaegar in the Start. As for how Tywin fears him, if you read it in detail, you would know that only happened recently when Edward besieged the red keep. Before that, the person Edward feared the most was Tywin who trapped him one after another. As for the wars in the rebellion, I did not want the MC to get defeated even once to create a legend. Some of you might say that it was impossible but we already had examples in our history like Alexander the Great and others.

The second issue of being a lord, actually happened in GOT when Lord Tarly appointed his second son as his heir instead of Sam. Although Lord Tarly was a little extreme when he sent Sam to the wall he could do so easily but he did not anyone to support Sam against his younger brother. The Targaryen themselves broke this tradition during the dance of dragons era when King Viserys appointed his daughter as his heir instead of his male son, so breaking traditions actually exist. As for the problem of richness, It happened once when Lord Corlys Velaryon traded with Yi Ti and became the richest man and house in Westeros so I guess it is logical based on who you traded with.

As for the lands, I based it on real life. The group did not have any chance to start with taking the throne at that time. You can think of it as two kingdoms that decided to invade a bigger kingdom. Both of them will take a part of its lands. I knew that was not supposed to happen in Westeros but it happened among the three cities of Tyrosh, Myr, and Lys in the disputed land. The Targaryen gold is the same, both parties at that time did not know if they were going to win or die.

I thought the same way about the lords of those lands. But Aegon had to hold the seven kingdoms. That is why he needed to do so. What Edward did at the rebellion was not even a sixth of what Aegon did. What I mean is that he could hold this land with his men alone. He would not stretch his armies in all the direction like what Aegon would have to do if he decided to take all the lands by force under only his rule. As for the loyalty of the lords for the Tyrell, I will give you two examples. The first when they betrayed the Tyrells after Cersei's persuasion. Of course, I knew that this one was a special case since Daenerys was a foreigner by then but that means that with good persuasion, he could get their help. The second is the houses of Stormsland after Stannis's defeat. All the houses swore loyalty to the crown again. The winner takes everything while the loser could not help but cry. I will also use the same reason you used to argue. The Tyrell as a new house compared to the other great houses in Westeros did not have enough hold over the Reach. Although they tried to do so by marriage, they would not succeed as the other great houses. Plus, I chose the houses that did not want to submit to Edward while only house Rowan was the only one who changed loyalty. I chose them because they did not have any ties with the Tyrell at that generation at least. You did not see me go for Hightower or Redwyne.

In the end, I could say sorry if the story did not reach your expectations.

Sam was sent to the Wall becouse Randyll wanted his second son to inherit his lands or otherwise he would be forced to leave everything to Sam. Yes, and that's exactly why there was a civil war which ended Targaryen supremacy over westeros. Westeros lords and even common folk take tradition very serious, even Aegon was forced to abide the tradition. In reality if Steffon made Edward his heir instead of Robert the rightful heir, there would be a civil war in Stormlands even if Edward was the better choice some Lord would still fight for Roberts right out of Honor. There were many ways you could have handled it but you chose the most illogical one like you do with everything else. For example you could have made him Lord after the rebellion or simply make Edward the oldest.

It's not that it didn't meet my expectations, it's just too many things don't make sense even with suspense of disbelief. Sorry for the harsh review. I did warn you though

In real life it's possible because we don't have rulers who have ruled for thousands of years at every corner. So when you take the lands or cities the peasants don't care because they didn't even know who was the ruler before that. They did have a chance and a big one, and it shows throughout the rebellion. The disputed lands are called that exactly because the three cities keep waging wars over it to this day. As for the gold, one man can't demand that much, what about the Arryn's? The Tully and the Stark's? And especially Robert who would become King and would have to lead a new dynasty and for that he needs gold. Edward could damend 1/5 which is reasonable or 1/4 which would be pushing it ,not more than half that's just stupid.

Yeah he could dispatch his armies in a short time but, would the Reach and Dorne just sit and watch him take huge chunks of their land? No they would not. Tyrells may have problems with leadership but they're still part of the Reach and have claim to Highgarden even if not the biggest claim but still. While Edward is an outsider the lords would not kneel to him. As for Dorne, they refused to bend to the Targaryens for over a 100 years so do you think it's realistic for them to bend over to him and let him do whatever he wants with pretty much no resistance? I don't think you understand the Absolute power the lords hold over their lands and people. Your plan would just never work, the lords would either rebel nonstop or simply ignore you by not paying taxes or/and not coming to aid you in time of need.

Lords siding with the Lannisters only happened in the show and not the books. The reason why lords betrayed stannis is that he had no chance of winning, he was a religious fanatic, A kinslayer and finally that he wasn't even in Stormlands and was nowhere to be found while the Stormlands were surrounded by enemies. The Tyrells have been around since before the Andal invasion bro they are not a new house it's just their claim over Highgarden wasn't as strong as other Houses.

My point is it happens. What if all the lords sided with Edward no like what happened with the Targaryen. Plus, Edward and Robert were twins. I searched for such a case and did not find what would happen then and since this is fanfiction I created that scenario. I had already sketched the events for the new version and I went with the Lord of Stormsland after the rebellion. You can wait for it.

Don't worry about the review, bro. I like a harsh one to know where I needed to improve. Say whatever on your mind. I am not trying to put you down or something. I am just trying to tell you my reasons because before I wrote anything I try to find something similar.

Don't forget that the Arryns, the Stark's and Tully's sided with the Targaryen's girl at that time which means that they also broke the tradition.

Have you read it throughly. Yeah, Edward suggested half at first to start with the negotiation and ended up with a third. He only took his chance after Allyria and Elia's death to get two thirds. I knew that it might not be reasonable but look how much pressure Edward took on behalf of the rebellion. He stopped the The Reach and Dorne and defeated the crown in Stormsland. He also was the one who led the final battle. After all that and inviting five thousand loses, the terms he agreed with others on were broken. So I think it's a suitable compensation.

You are right but house Tyrell only ruled the reach for less than three centuries. That is why Edward only attacked those with little claims. He did not attack the Lannister or anyone else. As for Dorne, with the help of house Yroonwood, Edward could control that part. You knew that the last kingdom to be united was Dorne and only after defeating house Yroonwood. So house Yroonwood still had some face if you can put it like that. He did not take much land in crownlands.

I didn't say anyone bend the knee except House Rowan and House Yroonwood. The others who fought Edward died with their houses.