Review Detail of Weirdo in Might Of All Beings

First, I thank you for making a fanfic. It's not a new idea but I can still see your passion and individuality, how you use it differently from other. The things you got to improve is your grammar. Then the character itself(You give him bad @ss background with epic death yet he turn dumb in earthland. It's like, 'WTF mate? Aren't you an elite SEAL? Why did you do such foolish stuff??!! And you turn into manwhore?? '.. ) You should read more, I don't mean you didn't read. What I mean is for you to see how each author put their imagination into words. How they translate it from idea into readable material. Then compare note with other author, maybe in discord? And the story flow, that's important so when reader read it, the plot is smooth flowing from A to B.. Good job. Keep going..