Review Detail of Chaoscaller in Scar : It's you

A most excellent writing style, undercut by a slightly loose grip on point-of-view. That's how I'd describe my experience reading this story. While your story is interesting, you have a tendency of starting chapters and/or sentences with 'I'. That isn't bad on its own, if you want to drive a point home. Or if it's some kind of stylistic choice. But readers get easily bored by repetition over several paragraphs. Use different words or entire sentences to highlight a different part of your character's surroundings. While I know first-person is all about one singular character, don't forget the world around them lives as well. One last tiny thing. I understand you are excited for your work to be see by the world -- as you should-- but try to keep the switching of POV (from you talking to your reader to the main character describing his adventure) to a minimum. Such things pull your reader out their immersion between chapters. If you truly want to write about such things, I'd advise using the bottom of the chapter. But first and foremost, please do carry on! You are doing marvelously!