Review Detail of Jaxer30 in Authority Fought For -- A Simple VRMMO Story
Review detail
Hey! I finished reading the 7 chapters out and well, it is what I came from: a simple vrmmo story. Still, the "overlooked class being crazy overpowered" and "everyone looking down on the mc because of his class and skill choices" is a bit overused at this point, but the novelty of your concept drew me in. But, I would recommend reducing your exposition, long explanations tend to be tedious...you can make them work better if you show us with action and in a dynamic way. There were some awkward fight scenes, but I've seen worse, yours are not that bad. And finally, the MC is kind of generic. I would love to see a more fleshed-out character and interesting settings. As a personal recommendation, do things your own way, if you copy others your product will just be another drop in the ocean, be creative, be wild, surprise us :)
Authority Fought For -- A Simple VRMMO Story
FaebyenTheFairy
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Many thanks for the review! And I am aware of all those criticisms xD It is, after all, supposed to be a "simple vrmmo story" that I and Raidishier can write chapters of in a day. Raidishier is brand-new to writing fiction so this is just a creative writing exercise for him. Stuff like complex characterization and long and detailed combat is far beyond him. If you want better characterization and combat, check out my other creative writing project "Dark Seas Leading Demise"! The first book is complete at 136,000 words long, the MC is by themselves for most the story, the combat is more detailed, and there are lots of little clues and hints as to the true nature of the world.