Review Detail of Shuyuka in Deleted, the original is on my profile.

I think this story has a lot of potential, but it has a few things that kind of stand out. Especially the first 2 chapters being filled with a good bit of exposition which isn't entirely bad but can be a big pitfall for readers and their attention. I would say that the author should experiment with prose so that events have a proper flow and be easier to understand without the narrator coming in every moment to explain. (Also can extend to helping the reader imagine things more clearly). A positive I did see is that the writer has been working hard to consistently update chapters which is always a plus. (Hopefully this review didn't come off as too negative (>.<) and I hope the writer continues developing their craft.