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DaoistOfBeingHorny
DaoistOfBeingHornyLv123yr
2021-04-12 21:31

I would say that this book is good but the author dont give some space in the sentence and just sum them up and thats it its hard to read it properly you cant say if the word in the sentence is a paragraph that mc was saying and the start is good and thats it author you just need to put some space like this blah blah blah blab(the story) "blah blah blah blah(mc saying)" [blah blah blah(the system or something] like that have some space dont sum things up its kinda messy and hard to read.

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Replies4
Hadi_Abdul_Hadi
Hadi_Abdul_HadiAuthor

Sorry, that's only in the first chapters. The rest are fine

Hadi_Abdul_Hadi
Hadi_Abdul_HadiAuthor

I fixed it.

spiderman3_4
spiderman3_4Lv13

If you don't mind me asking, What are the tags ?

Hadi_Abdul_Hadi:I fixed it.
Aplistia
AplistiaLv4

Is it romance or harem?

Hadi_Abdul_Hadi:I fixed it.
Other Reviews
AntiLoliLewding
AntiLoliLewdingLv4

terrythor46
terrythor46Lv4

So to start off with... this isn't a gamer story. This is a normal zombie apocalypse with a system. I repeat this is NOT a gamer story. This is a SYSTEM story. As for the story itself, it's okayish to bad. The System is badly designed to the point that it doesn't really serve much of a purpose. It reminds of an old zombie apocalypse novel, my OP shop in the Zombie Apocalypse. The system is just there for the player to buy stuff and that's how it feels here. Other than being a shop and a quest giver the system has zero purpose even though the story makes seem like there's more. I liked that he's alone in the beginning. This feels more realistic in that there's little chance of encountering another survivor early in the apocalypse. Either people are turtling in their houses or go out whenever the MC is resting. Pacing is bad. It's fast and when he encounters another human, it picks up quickly. Slow it down and space out the time in the story. Another thing to note is that he trusts the first human he comes across too fast despite growing up as an outcast. There should be some hesitation in trusting people, but he gives the girl his gun trusting her. He wastes medical supplies on her and even fights a boss zombie because of her. After the introduction to the girl the pacing beings to go too fast with introducing the world. First the ninja girl, then the gangsters, then the introduction to the world's logic... Simply put there's little downtime to actually absorb the information before the next big thing happens. There should at least be some downtime for the MC to absorb the information he's gotten but doesn't. That's the only real major problem with this novel. It moves way too fast for its own good and suffers.

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