webnovel
SolAce
SolAceLv34yr
2020-11-23 23:23

Since at the time of my review, there was only one chapter. I cannot say much about the world or plot yet. Maybe at a later time when the author posts more chapters is when I can alter my review once more. However, I will say it is a bit difficult for me to imagine the world even from the prologue. Mainly due to the reason that I do not know Avatar that well, but even then, as a reader, I should be able to picture the world a bit more, so I would suggest adding more of the world rather than dialogue in the prologue. Grammar errors are few, yet I can still spot some misplaced commas and run-on sentences, which can be corrected. Last but not least, I found the flow to be somewhat stiff. The only advice I can give you is the vary the way you started your sentences. So instead of saying ‘Macai’, try using ‘he’ or ‘young boy’ to describe the mc. Hopefully my advice is helpful enough, and keep up the good work, Author !

Liked by 5 people

LIKE
Replies3
Brian_Hanes_117
Brian_Hanes_117Author

Excellent, this is very helpful. For now, I have added two paragraphs to help explain the story. These paragraphs are modeled after the original introduction into the series. I hope that helps. Later, I will reanalyze the first chapter to see if anything else can be added to increase description without taking away from the story. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. I also will consider the other nuggets of advice you left.

creepycatisawesone
creepycatisawesoneLv3

What will be ur update schedule??

Brian_Hanes_117:Excellent, this is very helpful. For now, I have added two paragraphs to help explain the story. These paragraphs are modeled after the original introduction into the series. I hope that helps. Later, I will reanalyze the first chapter to see if anything else can be added to increase description without taking away from the story. Your feedback is greatly appreciated. I also will consider the other nuggets of advice you left.
Brian_Hanes_117
Brian_Hanes_117Author

Roughly one new chapter every week.

creepycatisawesone:What will be ur update schedule??
Other Reviews
Related Stories

Uchiha Clan: Across the Multiverse

[One Piece, Naruto, ,Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba ,Marvel, DC, One punch man, Douluo Dalu, BTTH, Fairy Tail, Harry Potter, Reverend Insanity ETC...] MC is Akira ------------------------------------------------------------ If there is danger in one place, they will leave and return later to destroy it. The Uchiha Clan was planning a coup out of helplessness. But when they found a safe way, a light in their dark life, they took it. Now, in the multiverse, the Uchiha will become the greatest ever. Itachi is a kind young man in the Uchiha, but to enemies, he’s a nightmare. Shisui is like a natural disaster across all worlds, but his heart remains pure. Sasuke was on the verge of becoming a gangster. Mikoto is finally living the life she always dreamed of with her husband. After returning to Konoha, the Uchiha will awaken the undead—for the greater good and to make things right. Previous: Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba Original World: Naruto First World: One Piece Second World:..... --------------------------------------------------------------- To clarify before reading: "This novel is partially my own creation and Mostly a modified translation until chapter 121 then I began writing it myself. The raw I took from: 木叶排挤:我带宇智波去大航海 ----------------------------------------------------------------- You can support me and read up to 50 advanced chapters at: patreon.com/_Coreal ko-fi.com/coreal

Coreal · Anime & Comics
4.6
105 Chs

Endless Path : Infinite Cosmos

Vahn was an atypical youth. Due to a rare mutation, his blood had the potential to target and attack ailments within the human body. Touted as a universal cure, people had elevated his status above the norm and given him the classification "Panacea". In the media, he was hailed as a great hero who would usher in a new era or human wellness. However, behind the scenes things weren't so bright. Being a unique individual, Vahn spent his entire youth locked up in a lab with various scientists and research teams using his body and blood to perform endless amounts of experiments. The only solace in his suffering was the various anime and manga made available to him between experiments. He often imagined himself as the protagonist in a world of his own, finally in control of his own destiny. For years he nurtured this desire, until at the age of 14 he died when an organization had tried to kidnap him from the lab... "Finally, I don't have to suffer anymore..." This was Vahn's last thought as he faded into the endless black abyss... "You poor soul." Author's Note: If you would like to support the author and the team behind EPIC and future projects, feel free to check out libraryofakasha.com. There, you can find extra chapters and several other novels posted by myself and a few people from Discord. Cover by Sinlaire, Edited by Frozen: https://www.deviantart.com/sinlaire https://discord.gg/Jwa8PKh New Patreon~! https://www.patreon.com/user?u=14397149 This is a work of fiction that draws heavily upon the original source material of Danmachi. Please support the official release and know I claim no ownership or credit regarding the existence of pre-existing characters or content.

Einlion · Anime & Comics
4.8
2365 Chs

Inner Voice: All Heroines Hear My Inner Voice

Reincarnated and traveling to another world, Eiji Seiya initially thought the world was normal. That was what he thought before he met the heroine and protagonist of the franchise he had watched in his previous life. Not only that, after he awakened the Inner Voice System to grow strong by complaining about plot, heroine and protagonist in his heart to get many rewards. He is determined to increase his power so that he can save his home world, the world where he was reincarnated that was hit by the disaster "Honkai" and save beautiful girls like Kiana, Mai, Bronya, Rita and others who had tragic endings in the original works! "I will save them all!" However... Everything went smoothly... Eiji earned rewards every time he changed the plot in another franchise. It's just that... What's wrong with these heroines? Lala Satalin Deviluke who was supposed to be engaged to the protagonist instead became his fiancée. Sona Sitri suddenly called him to the student council office and said she wanted to make a deal with him. Rias Gremory who was supposed to ask the protagonist for help to solve her political marriage problem with Riser Phenex inexplicably came to him. The girls were disgusted at the protagonists of their respective franchises. Something was wrong here! Not only that, heroines like Kotegawa Yui, Sairenji Haruna, Akeno Himejima, Kuroka, Serafall Leviathan, Grayfia Lucifuge, Sakurajima Mai, Ai Hoshino, Kasumigaoka Utaha and others... They like him! All the super beautiful and sexy women that many men in the world covet surround him and leave their respective protagonists. Grayfia even betrayed her husband. Eiji who saw all this was dumbfounded. At first he was confused as to why these heroines were surrounding him, but gradually he realized and knew that it was all happening because ... His inner voice! - The plot that has been changed by the MC: To Love Ru: 83% Highschool DxD: 82% Shinmai Maou no Testament: 92% Oregairu: 89% Saekano: 84% Oshi no Ko: 100% Rascal Does Not Dream Of Bunny Girl Senpai: 100% Mieruko-chan: 89% Trinity Seven: 38% This is the plot change process of the latest chapter and will change as the story progresses. By the way, the grammar at the beginning is bad and will improve as the chapter progresses. However, my writing style will not change much because this is an inner voice novel, which means that there will be many reactions from each character. Oh and in chapter hundreds there will be a group chat to prevent the loss of interaction between the heroines. It's a special chat group for the heroines in the MC's harem. - Get the latest chapters faster on my patreon. Support me on patreon to keep me motivated to write more chapters: www.patreon.com/DogLicker

DogLickerGods · Anime & Comics
4.7
496 Chs

Creating Manga Of One Piece In Pirates World Become My Ultimate Goal!

Rob was a high-level hacker and wanted by many government organizations because he leaked the secrets of many countries. So he didn't dare to come out of his hiding much. Since he was alone, he lived a difficult life, which that he found the joy and the excitement of life in only two things: The rule of the Internet, and the anime world. One day he came across an interesting advertisement on his personal computer that turned his life upside down. [Ding!] [The art publishing system is being prepared...] [The system is ready!] From that time onwards his goal became to draw One Piece manga in the pirates' world! And make the great era of pirates even more chaotic! ¶¶¶¶¶ Author: BlackStar_BH (Me) ¶¶¶¶¶ Note: Needless to say, this book has the same idea as "Creating The Manga Of Naruto On Naruto World Become My Ultimate Goal!" But here it applies to the world of One Piece, I was inspired by the idea and I wanted to apply it to the world of One Piece, and I hope it succeeds, of course, there will be a conspiracy and I will make sure to improve the story according to the readers opinions. ¶¶¶¶¶ As for publishing chapters, it would depend entirely on the interaction the story receives, whether it is 4 chapters a day or 2 chapters or 1 chapter or 0 chapters... It all depends on the readers' enthusiasm for this interesting book. ¶¶¶¶¶ I don't own One Piece nor do I own its characters, all I own is the protagonist, after all, this is just a fanfic without any profit, just for fun. I don't own Bleach, Attack on titan, Hunter X Hunter, Naruto, and I don't own their characters. ¶¶¶¶¶ EXTRA TAGS: #ATTACKONTITAN #HUNTERXHUNTER ¶¶¶¶¶ My Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/BlackStar_BH (+30 Chapters ahead Webnovel.) My Ko-fi: (New) https://ko-fi.com/blackstar_bh (+30 Chapters ahead Webnovel.)

BlackStar_BH · Anime & Comics
4.7
831 Chs

One Piece: Path to Power

Choices. Crossroads. Opportunities. Plunged into a broken world ruled by the strong, Damien must decide how his newfound life will proceed. Navigating through conflicts and alliances, his journey intertwines with the fates of powerful figures and kingdoms, challenging the very fabric of the hellish world. Set against the backdrop of the legendary One Piece universe, this tale reimagines familiar characters and lore, weaving a narrative that explores themes of power, redemption, and the indomitable spirit of adventure.  Damien's quest is not just for treasure or glory but a deeper pursuit of a truth that could change the course of history. As the tides of the Grand Line shift and churn, Damien confronts the harsh realities of the pirate world, facing challenges that test his limits and forge his legacy.  In this saga of the high seas, only the bold dare to dream, and only the strong survive. Will Damien rise to become a legend among pirates, or will the unforgiving waters claim yet another soul?  The journey to discover 'One Piece' is as perilous as it is wondrous, and for Damien, every choice and battle is a step closer to his ultimate destiny. Join him as he goes against all odds in the world of Pirates, Marines, and Revolutionaries, sailing on the Path to Power! ---------------------------------------------- Further fanfic information, QnAs and a trove of images are found here: https://discord.gg/aJHHHPvb6q Average Chapter Word Count: ~2600 words This story will be posted on RoyalRoad, ScribbleHub, Fanfiction.net, and AO3.

Paradox_ · Anime & Comics
4.8
176 Chs