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Review Detail of SolAce in Love, Trust, Hope

Review detail

SolAce
SolAceLv33yrSolAce

The book has the imprint of romance as our girl mc notices she has fallen in love with one of her best friends, not even with denial nonetheless; not only that, the synopsis gives the hint of another forbidden romance. With lots of love for BTS, the trio of friends has their own bubbly personalities that mesh well together. Additionally, other than the slangs and shortcuts used in their texting, I do not see apparent grammar errors for now, which is a great sign. One issue I have is the mystery you tried to add into the story. I feel like it wasn’t properly fleshed out before being added in. There has to be some sort of realism, so when I first hit upon the male friend receiving that suspicious email and not contacting police or enlisting help, I was a bit startled. Things I would recommend you consider is— 1. Why didn’t the male friend contact the police or ask his friends for help ? 2. Why didn’t he confide with his mother or his other two friends about it; ‘cause if the perpetrator is targeting them, at least they should be aware and cautious of it... right ? 3. Why did he date the snotty, rich girl from school if he wasn’t that interested in her ? ( Usually people in love would see their partner as the most beautiful person in the world while he just says,”Her makeup is a bit heavy, but she is beautiful enough to attract other guys etc etc...” ) Is it because his mother worked for her family’s company ? So he got peer pressured ? Basically, due to his decisions, his character design isn’t my cup of tea. Now the second issue is the usage of switching POVs. I had actually read nearly 3/4 of the second chapter without noticing it wasn’t the same person from the first chapter, leaving me confused and having to recheck the story once more to get a hang of it. I would greatly suggest for you to either focus on one character with first person and call the rest with their names, or go third person entirely to prevent future confusion. All in all though, despite these two things, I did enjoy your book and hope you take my advice with a grain of salt while understanding my logic or perspective may be flawed. Your characters have a funny dialogue as well as the flow is well done. Hope you continue to love writing, and keep up the good work, Author ! XD

altalt

Love, Trust, Hope

niyaa1617

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niyaa1617
niyaa1617Authorniyaa1617

Hi SolAce, thank u for your review. I would like to respond to some of your questions. 1. Why didn’t the male friend contact the police or ask his friends for help? The male friend doesn't contact the police about this mystery person because he's already pretty sure he wouldn't get any help from them. Even though I didn't mention it in my book, it's commonly known that asking the police for help would get them killed. However, he does ask one of his friends for help because he trusts her, but not his other friend because she's always worried about the both of them and he didn't want to stress her out with this. 2. Why didn’t he confide with his mother or his other two friends about it; ‘cause if the perpetrator is targeting them, at least they should be aware and cautious of it... right? In another chapter, which will be released next week, he will tell at least one of his friends about the perpetrator targeting them. Only those two will be aware of it. They don't tell their other friend because they don't want to worry her. Their other friend is always stressed out and constantly working on stuff that they don't really find the right time to tell her about it until the perpetrator actually starts to come after them. Now, the reason for not telling his mother is because she works, too, and she knows (or at least expects) that her son wouldn't do such a thing as selling drugs due to his father passing away from doing drugs. If she were to find out, she would possibly kill him herself. 3. Why did he date the snotty, rich girl from school if he wasn’t that interested in her? ( Usually, people in love would see their partner as the most beautiful person in the world while he just says, ”Her makeup is a bit heavy, but she is beautiful enough to attract other guys, etc...” ) Is it because his mother worked for her family’s company? So he got peer pressured? Yes, it is because his mother worked for her family's company and peer pressure caused him to be in this loveless relationship. The snotty, rich girl (aka the enemy of his other friends) is not someone he trusts because he knows she can be manipulative. Say if he didn't go out with her, if he didn't, her parents would likely do something to his mother to make him do so. So, because he thought of his mother and how she would be affected, he is in this relationship (which he will be out of later in the story). Now the second issue is the usage of switching POVs. I had actually read nearly 3/4 of the second chapter without noticing it wasn’t the same person from the first chapter, leaving me confused and having to recheck the story once more to get a hang of it. I would greatly suggest for you either focus on one character in first-person and call the rest with their names or go third-person entirely to prevent future confusion. With this, the chapter names are supposed to indicate the switching of POVs of each mc. If you don't read the chapter name, then, of course, you wouldn't know that it switched from one character to another. Each of the character's POVs will be written from their point of view. In the future, there is a possibility that a few chapters will be written in the 2nd or 3rd person, but it's not really known yet since we haven't gotten that far. I'm sorry you got confused about this, but try reading the chapter names first before reading the chapter. Again, I thank you for your review, and your thoughts will be taken into consideration for my first novel.

SolAce
SolAceLv3SolAce

Indeed, thank you for taking the time to explain to me. I wasn’t completely aware of the chapter title, but I could tell from their perspectives who was talking, so it was just a matter of me getting used to it. Keep it up !

niyaa1617:Hi SolAce, thank u for your review. I would like to respond to some of your questions. 1. Why didn’t the male friend contact the police or ask his friends for help? The male friend doesn't contact the police about this mystery person because he's already pretty sure he wouldn't get any help from them. Even though I didn't mention it in my book, it's commonly known that asking the police for help would get them killed. However, he does ask one of his friends for help because he trusts her, but not his other friend because she's always worried about the both of them and he didn't want to stress her out with this. 2. Why didn’t he confide with his mother or his other two friends about it; ‘cause if the perpetrator is targeting them, at least they should be aware and cautious of it... right? In another chapter, which will be released next week, he will tell at least one of his friends about the perpetrator targeting them. Only those two will be aware of it. They don't tell their other friend because they don't want to worry her. Their other friend is always stressed out and constantly working on stuff that they don't really find the right time to tell her about it until the perpetrator actually starts to come after them. Now, the reason for not telling his mother is because she works, too, and she knows (or at least expects) that her son wouldn't do such a thing as selling drugs due to his father passing away from doing drugs. If she were to find out, she would possibly kill him herself. 3. Why did he date the snotty, rich girl from school if he wasn’t that interested in her? ( Usually, people in love would see their partner as the most beautiful person in the world while he just says, ”Her makeup is a bit heavy, but she is beautiful enough to attract other guys, etc...” ) Is it because his mother worked for her family’s company? So he got peer pressured? Yes, it is because his mother worked for her family's company and peer pressure caused him to be in this loveless relationship. The snotty, rich girl (aka the enemy of his other friends) is not someone he trusts because he knows she can be manipulative. Say if he didn't go out with her, if he didn't, her parents would likely do something to his mother to make him do so. So, because he thought of his mother and how she would be affected, he is in this relationship (which he will be out of later in the story). Now the second issue is the usage of switching POVs. I had actually read nearly 3/4 of the second chapter without noticing it wasn’t the same person from the first chapter, leaving me confused and having to recheck the story once more to get a hang of it. I would greatly suggest for you either focus on one character in first-person and call the rest with their names or go third-person entirely to prevent future confusion. With this, the chapter names are supposed to indicate the switching of POVs of each mc. If you don't read the chapter name, then, of course, you wouldn't know that it switched from one character to another. Each of the character's POVs will be written from their point of view. In the future, there is a possibility that a few chapters will be written in the 2nd or 3rd person, but it's not really known yet since we haven't gotten that far. I'm sorry you got confused about this, but try reading the chapter names first before reading the chapter. Again, I thank you for your review, and your thoughts will be taken into consideration for my first novel.
niyaa1617
niyaa1617Authorniyaa1617

You're welcome. If you have any more questions, my discord is @niyaa1617 #6491. And also, it's ok, no biggie. The chapter titles show just be paid attention to a lot more than other books.

SolAce:Indeed, thank you for taking the time to explain to me. I wasn’t completely aware of the chapter title, but I could tell from their perspectives who was talking, so it was just a matter of me getting used to it. Keep it up !
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AuHNG
AuHNGLv4AuHNG

Oh hey, can I contact you on discord?

niyaa1617:You're welcome. If you have any more questions, my discord is @niyaa1617 #6491. And also, it's ok, no biggie. The chapter titles show just be paid attention to a lot more than other books.