Review Detail of SEISMO_PIGEON in The Immortal Mage
Review detail
Well, the story seems good enough, it is intruiging and easy to understand. The thing is: It contains punctuation mistakes, but the sentences are quite easy to read, so it shouldn't be a problem. The world setup is outstanding, Character development is also nice, It does not fail to raise an aroma of a magical world.
The Immortal Mage
little_nerd_
Liked by 1 people
LIKEReplies12
little_nerd_:thank you for the review , I shall correct the mistakes , I am updating the whole story and change the way the story is described , it would be the same but the writing style will be changed with some more emotions and grammatical ccorrections , hope you enjoyed the novelš
well the harem won't be too big , I personally am not a fan of polygamy but some girls who don't get a chance with mc makes me sad , so there will be a harem and ofcourse the MC is cold , I wouldn't go that far to say that the MC is evil.
Daoist_Culture:Holy combo of evil MC and harem?
little_nerd_:well the harem won't be too big , I personally am not a fan of polygamy but some girls who don't get a chance with mc makes me sad , so there will be a harem and ofcourse the MC is cold , I wouldn't go that far to say that the MC is evil.
just give a review on what should I improve ,if you felt something was off in the story or the chapter had grammatical errors
Daoist_Culture:I ll give it a go. Thanks for the reply :).
I would love to be on a level that let me See grammatical errors ^_^. My English comes from games and YouTube, so not an expert XP.
little_nerd_:just give a review on what should I improve ,if you felt something was off in the story or the chapter had grammatical errors
Daoist_Culture:I would love to be on a level that let me See grammatical errors ^_^. My English comes from games and YouTube, so not an expert XP.
I did read most of it, and your MC is to kind and good natured. From what i saw, he dont really like devils, and despise using ppl as tools. By now, you should know what kind of Powers i would like to see in MC, and personality of the user(not a nice guy). I though it would change a little with his past memories back, but from what i read they are sealed. Hope you can jump the ranks, best of luck! :)
little_nerd_:Any effort will be helpful, thanks hope you enjoy the novelš
Daoist_Culture:I did read most of it, and your MC is to kind and good natured. From what i saw, he dont really like devils, and despise using ppl as tools. By now, you should know what kind of Powers i would like to see in MC, and personality of the user(not a nice guy). I though it would change a little with his past memories back, but from what i read they are sealed. Hope you can jump the ranks, best of luck! :)
Yeah, i know. I can comment on chaps that i saw. And its weird that he dont even think that his New "parents" can fck him over, some Woman sealed his memories, why? Dunno. Nothing suspicious for a 10k mature mind. Couple of hugs and tears and he is sold. He was betrayed, even more Red flags.
little_nerd_:well he still is a child , even though he has emotional maturity his personality isn't the same now
well I got a friend to help me the plot and correct the story and it's major scenes , so I'll delete many chapters and rewrite so be sure to read it then I'll mass release 30+ chaps after corrections
Daoist_Culture:Yeah, i know. I can comment on chaps that i saw. And its weird that he dont even think that his New "parents" can fck him over, some Woman sealed his memories, why? Dunno. Nothing suspicious for a 10k mature mind. Couple of hugs and tears and he is sold. He was betrayed, even more Red flags.
little_nerd_:well I got a friend to help me the plot and correct the story and it's major scenes , so I'll delete many chapters and rewrite so be sure to read it then I'll mass release 30+ chaps after corrections