webnovel
Sarah_Lawart
Sarah_LawartLv101yr
2022-12-27 11:43

As in my previous comment I emphasize that it is rushing the story and not doing real world building, I will add that there is a huge problem with the interaction of the characters and the plot in general, where did they meet? When? How did they meet? How was the process of finding a publisher? When did the MC start acting classes? How did he meet his teacher, being that he's a renowned former actor? How was the audition for the role in the theater play and when did it happen? Honestly, I don't want to sound condescending but it is necessary that you as an author acquire the mentality of asking questions in order to be able to flesh out the plot, because in the current picture it seems that the character just gets the things he wants without any difficulty, besides, it sucks that you put things in that should be implied, such as the character's lack of general inexperience in what is due to things like business, among other things. It takes time to improve, take your time and start acquiring a more inquisitive mindset and this will greatly improve your writing.

Liked it!

LIKE
empty img

No replies. Be the first!

Other Reviews
Blutmond
BlutmondLv3
Related Stories

My Life Changed with the Unlimited System

Ethan Cole was, by all appearances, an ordinary young man navigating the familiar ups and downs of life—until the night everything changed. That was when he encountered the "Unlimited System." This mysterious system didn't merely make Ethan wealthy—it granted him unimaginable riches and set him on a path that was both exhilarating and perilous. The catch? Each mission the system assigns doesn't just test his wit and resolve; it also unlocks incredible powers, elevating him to new heights of strength and influence. But this isn't just a tale of lavish spending and indulgence—though those moments certainly add flavor! Ethan's journey is laced with challenges, each step bringing him closer to reshaping his destiny. From building NovaTech Innovations into a technological marvel to buying a football club and even creating an app poised to revolutionize the food delivery industry, Ethan's rise is nothing short of meteoric. And yet, the further he climbs, the more he discovers the shadows lurking behind his newfound success. Beneath the surface lies a hidden world—a world ruled by the Great Families, an elite group whose wealth is only part of their power. For these families, strength is the ultimate currency, and disputes are settled not in boardrooms but in combat arenas. Whether through sparring matches or life-and-death duels, they prove their dominance with skill, strategy, and sheer might. Drawn into this dangerous realm of secret societies, high-stakes confrontations, and unrelenting ambition, Ethan must use every ounce of his intelligence, strength, and ingenuity to navigate the intricate web of power that surrounds him. Expect a whirlwind of twists, heart-pounding action, and moments of sheer wonder. From outsmarting ruthless rivals to unraveling the enigmatic traditions of the elite families, Ethan's journey is as unpredictable as it is thrilling. It's a story where rules bend, reality tilts, and every turn brings something unexpected. [A Friendly Note: If you find, after reading a few chapters, that this story doesn't suit your taste, please feel free to set it aside. There's no need for complaints or condemnations—I'm simply writing this for the joy of it and for those who find delight in the journey. Constructive feedback is always welcome, but I must admit I don't have the time or inclination to engage with negativity. Let's keep the spirit of fun alive!] [One last note: This story unfolds in a world similar to ours, but not quite the same. Don't be surprised if everyday rules of finance, law, or logic occasionally bow to the demands of adventure and storytelling. After all, where's the fun in sticking to the ordinary?]

NoahCaelum · Urban
4.8
120 Chs