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Review Detail of bibiyenini in Torn between The Assistant and The Basketball Guy

Review detail

bibiyenini
bibiyeniniLv33yrbibiyenini

I was intrigued with the very beginning but I will say I had something to point out with the way you wrote the synopsis: (Needs to improve) 1) The 'Mataray' word should be replaced with an English word. I think this is supposed to be an English novel, wherein the words that were foreign were not really predictable or it was a hinder for the readers. 2) The way you wrote the synopsis makes it like you were dumping information on the story right away. Remember that you have to hide the major plot twist of the story on the synopsis, instead make it much more puzzled so that the readers wanted to know what will happen next. 3) The synopsis really has an overview of the story, but make sure that it will not comprise the major conflicts of the plot. Example: The girl is kind and sweet. But what comes next was unexpected. She met two boys that were different in terms of personalities and appearance, would she still brave to accept their confession. Something like that. (Good Points) 1) The story follows a light drama like some of the Korean school dramas that I've watched. It was something much more like that because the love triangle for this story is so intense. Now, if you wanted to continue this lightness from the very start, make sure that the conflicts would be easy too and quick to resolve. 2) The story comprised of a strong and independent woman, which WN readers liked so much, and I love to read something like this too. Keep up the good work (and please don't hate me with my review, I am trying to help you with all of the learnings I've got from the seniors) and you are a wonderful writer! Good Job~

altalt

Torn between The Assistant and The Basketball Guy

Sharlaine_Llovit

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Replies3

Sharlaine_Llovit
Sharlaine_LlovitAuthorSharlaine_Llovit

I don’t see your reviews a bad because it helps for me and thank you again😊

Sharlaine_Llovit
Sharlaine_LlovitAuthorSharlaine_Llovit

Thank you for the reviews which will help me to improve my novel.

bibiyenini
bibiyeniniLv3bibiyenini

no problem!

Sharlaine_Llovit:Thank you for the reviews which will help me to improve my novel.