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Review Detail of HotRedFlaming in After 2nd Adam

Review detail

HotRedFlaming
HotRedFlamingLv33yrHotRedFlaming

I'm gonna rate five stars for support but I'm going to be blunt here. (I hope you dont mind). For the pros, I can commend the author when he thought of the world building regarding the shape shifters, vampires and the witches. They have their own spin that the author had implemented. This story gave me a mystery-fantasy vibes and it is still early to judge where this is going. I actually like the beginning, it had a thrilling and psychological vibe about morality when the children were being genetically modified. Now for the cons. Let's start with the writing quality, in the first part it was kinda lacking in detail that some scenes are not flowing nicely. . I think the first part was the most confusing one, since it began on some lab and then to a space ship then to earth. Since not to mention there was barely any detail on the settings before transition. It was slightly uncomfrtoable for me. But as the chapters went on I can see some improvement which is good. But I think the author needs to work on some of the transitions, since some were too abrupt and I had to reread again to check since the settings seemed to have changed. Also they were frequently done and its sometimes bad since it can destroy the flow. The main character which is jason is an investigator I assume, though his character is still underwhelming and he had not shown personality beyond his work but there are still plenty of time to devlop. His interactions with the character is just okay but for now he is just staring on the sidelines. Also Im not sure if I missed it but Im not sure what is the role of the MC, is he a police task force or a private investigator? I could not see any of his goals or drive. This may be my personal opinion but I think the synopsis needs some work. Since most of the time, the readers who would look at the synopsis would be curious about the MC and what will happen to him in that story. But in the synopsis it was just the background and history and I think people may not care about it. I think it would be better if the mc's goal or drive were written there, or that he would he have a system that would make him superior to the others. But overall good work and dont take this as 100% fact this is just my opinion.

altalt

After 2nd Adam

Lolth

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Replies3

Lolth
LolthAuthorLolth

Hi! Thanks for your time. The issue that I am trying to develop the most right now is the place descriptions, actions and as you said, transitions. I am happy to hear that I developed. As for the MC, I don't know how successful I can be, but there are so many chapters I need to write to finish introducing him. I guess it will not help me or the reader to explain the incomprehensibility about him now and here. Synopsis... I have no idea what I can do about it. I need to think about it a little bit. Thanks for review again.

HotRedFlaming
HotRedFlamingLv3HotRedFlaming

Yeah your welcome, but will the mc get his system?

Lolth:Hi! Thanks for your time. The issue that I am trying to develop the most right now is the place descriptions, actions and as you said, transitions. I am happy to hear that I developed. As for the MC, I don't know how successful I can be, but there are so many chapters I need to write to finish introducing him. I guess it will not help me or the reader to explain the incomprehensibility about him now and here. Synopsis... I have no idea what I can do about it. I need to think about it a little bit. Thanks for review again.
HotRedFlaming
HotRedFlamingLv3HotRedFlaming

It would be also good if you explain the system

Lolth:Hi! Thanks for your time. The issue that I am trying to develop the most right now is the place descriptions, actions and as you said, transitions. I am happy to hear that I developed. As for the MC, I don't know how successful I can be, but there are so many chapters I need to write to finish introducing him. I guess it will not help me or the reader to explain the incomprehensibility about him now and here. Synopsis... I have no idea what I can do about it. I need to think about it a little bit. Thanks for review again.