So, the first chapter. I didn't have any idea of what was going on, it felt much like I was thrown into some weird school/work environment with bullying, but later it became much more smoother tho I still didn't understand if they were students, or coworkers. Maybe it's just me being dumb but I didn't get it. The grammar is good, with a couple of messy non significant errors in tense. As far as the character go, It's our usual chit-chat type of FL. First POV stories are a type of storytelling where you are telling your story. I don't know about you, but constantly giving puns, and commentary in between texts until it has a special significance sets me off. Imagine yourself telling another person a story with your commentary at every few lines or paras. Writing a First POV isn't a conversation, but getting the view from first perspective. it's like recalling the past events, and setting off comments at regular intervals isn't what I prefer. The world Background isnt too broad for me who likes classic world building novels, and info dumps but it is enough to make my brain understand what's going in. Updates are good, story at first chapter is a bit generic, with a subtle twist, appreciated. So, at last. I am being honest, if not for the vast ocean of FL reincarnation novels, I would have give it a shot, so I would let it sit in my collection, and check it after a few weeks once it has enough chapters to hook me up. Good luck with your writing, and don't just blindly take my review, but rather use it and then think. I may be wrong, and my review wrong, so do your best to improve this novel.
Liked by 5 people
LIKE
Helloooo~ Thank you for the honest feedback! OwO It's true that I really have not stated if it's in the school environment XD My friend told me that too! But I haven't had the time to edit the first few chapters yet ;-; And regarding the world building hehehe I am extremely guilty XD Also the POV's, everything is still rough that's why I appreciate everyone who gives me honest reviews UwU I will take all of this into accord and improve my book! Thank you so muuch~ TT
Good luck with that.
Raeven_Black:Helloooo~ Thank you for the honest feedback! OwO It's true that I really have not stated if it's in the school environment XD My friend told me that too! But I haven't had the time to edit the first few chapters yet ;-; And regarding the world building hehehe I am extremely guilty XD Also the POV's, everything is still rough that's why I appreciate everyone who gives me honest reviews UwU I will take all of this into accord and improve my book! Thank you so muuch~ TT
