Review Detail of Whitemist in Naruko The Blood Reaper

I don't understand why this is so highly rated... I could go off on a long tangent on why I am giving 2.4 stars but instead I will summarize. 1. The grammar is bad combine this with the constant perspective changes and the repetitive language the first 9 chapters were more painful to read than my year 12 textbooks it does start to get progresively better by chapter 10 but only barely. 2. The characters are one dimensional I can describe most of the characters in a single sentence and that would encompass most of if not all of their displayed character traits. Naruko: Bloodthirsty psychopathic demon with no regard for human life. Anko: Sadist who likes dango. Hiruzen: To old for this s***. Konoha 9 - Naruto: Collection of quotes and scenes from the source material. Danzo: Danzo. Civilian council: Foil. Shining council: Secretly wishes for the death of the civilian council. Guy: That one weird kid everyone wants to stay as far away from as possible. Gaara: Emotionless child who does everything his big sis tells him to. 3. The sheer amount of things the MC gets away with. She murders Konoha citizens by the dozen then buys their businesses and no one cares She kills a member of the civilian counsel in front of everyone on the council because he barely broke a law that most civilians break multiple times a day, it isn't her place to enforce punishment and there are no repercussions. She an 8 year old jinchurikki leaves the village without informing anyone, goes off to a different ninja village brings another jinchurikki back as her adopted brother and literally no one cares. Their are good things about the story for instance many of the ideas are interesting and worth discussion for example a taijutsu style that incorporates genjutsu is something I am very happy to see and would love to have a conversation about the effectiveness of such a style. The story development itself is also fairly well paced and thought out but I honestly can't find many other good things to say. If had to give advice on how the story could improve though it may just be my subjective opinion and therefore wrong I can try suggesting. Rather than changing perspective and saying the internal thoughts of characters individually take a more "show not tell" approach stick to the Mc's (1st person) perspective and unless absolutely necessary stick to using expressions and actions to show the way a character feels from the perspective of the MC. Expand used vocabulary if this is too difficult maybe just use a thesaurus. Again Show not tell the characters personality through actions not descriptions it's okay to say how a character feels but if you do so there needs to be some action that completes that statement so as to give actual depth to the characters. A good way to develope characters is to have them interact with an OCbor less known character who has no fixed template to work within this allows the building of both character traits and potential future plotlines. This is one of the few times I have ever given a bad review and I would be lying if I said it wasn't in part due to how highly rated this is but mainly it is because somehow reading this made me cringe hard enough to feel actual physical pain and I don't understand how that's possible but enough is enough I'll end it here and as always have fun.