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Fenris321
Fenris321Lv143yr
2021-03-15 10:47

Im gonna level, the intro on this story... isnt great. The pace is great (rare for a WN, so good job) and the characters have a nice foundation; but I cant believe it, for an disaster novel it lacks authenticity. There are so many cases where common sense flies out the window and the established world rules are disregarded (any scene involving the elevator is just a big box of stupid). Its like Im reading a first draft of an inexprinced author; this being a WN I’m probably not wrong. A second draft or editor would improve things drastically on this front, but its not unreadable by even by WN standards. Just dont think to hard about the technical side of the world building. Beyond that Theres... Good The premise is interesting, the tension is present, and it has great growth potential for both the story and author. Bad A bit heavyhanded with the early messages, could have been done in a more natural way, lots of telling but little showing (chapter 4/5 is mostly just infodumps), The characters all start off as stupid. The MC in particular leaps past dense and dashes for the label of braindead. Thats ignoring his moral compass and naivr begining. Its far from a masterpiece on an execution basis; but the author has enough ideas to make it an interesting, if occasionaly infurating, ride.

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Prince_nonchalant
Prince_nonchalantAuthor

Thanks for your honest feedback. I really appreciate it. This is my first time writing a full novel like this, so I guess it shouldn't be surprising that you identified my rookie mistakes. I am doing my best to improve on my scenes and writing quality in the later chapters, and I will definitely take your words to heart. I'll most likely go back and revise the first chapters to see what I can make better. Once again, that's for the honesty.

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AnonymousHero
AnonymousHeroLv1

Okay, first of all, I'd just like to say this novel is amazing. I only usually read when I have the time and only read books that interest me, but this one grasped me and refused to let go. The story is on a very unique path and I am loving every minute of it so far. I'll detail everything step by step so readers know what they are getting into: Writing Quality: At first, there were very minor mistakes, but as the author has noted, this was basically his first book. As you go up through the chapters, you will see the improvement in the writing skills. The author learns quickly and acts upon his mistakes as soon as he sees them. Updating Stability: Author keeps his word. One chapter a day from Monday to Friday. Rarely does weekend chapters... Wish he did more (help me push him to do more weekend chapters please). Overall, honest about his updating stability and I'm yet to see him falter. Story Development: This is simply amazing!! Especially when it comes on the MC Zane. I've seen a few people bash the author about his weak MC, but I'm telling you, the development Zane goes through is insane. Zane literally went from the nice, goodie, soft character to more like an anti-hero (maybe even a straight-out villain. Can't confirm yet, but I've seen evidence that may support my theory). What makes the development so great is that the author puts the MC through many situations, and has him make mistakes. These mistakes slowly take effect on Zane and eventually pushed him to a breaking point where he just loses it and transforms from an angel to a demon (figure of speech, not literally.) Character Design: At first, the descriptions were kind of lengthy, however, the author has cut down on the descriptions. He ensures they aren't too vague, but also not overly descriptive. He leaves certain things to the reader's imagination which I like. World Background: This is well done. The scenes are detailed enough to play out in your head like a movie, but we all know that not every scene can be perfect. There are a few parts that could have been written better, but again, it's his first book, so won't bash him for it. Either way, the background is vivid and flows nicely with the tone of the story. Overall, the story is amazing. The development is insane and I look forward to more content. Please, please, please don't drop this book author! I would be so disappointed if I don't get to see how this all ends. To other readers, if you love apocalypse books, this is one for you. It diverts from zombies and tackles a battle with intellectual life forms with humans at the bottom of the food chain. It's worth giving a shot. Trust me💯💯

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