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Red_DragonEmperor
Red_DragonEmperorLv44yr
2020-11-05 20:37

The plot is taking shape. I am hooked up on this story. One of the good novels I have read uptil now. The story has potential, now it depends on Author to nurture it. All the best, Author-san

Liked by 5 people

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Replies4
AJPaturde
AJPaturdeAuthor

well well. thank you[img=recommend]

readtokilltime
readtokilltimeLv14

How is the grammar? The synopsis has got me worried..

newthings
newthingsLv6

multiple protagonists ?

AJPaturde:well well. thank you[img=recommend]
image
AJPaturde
AJPaturdeAuthor

Not really. In the story, at the start, Liam and his sister, and his classmate. And when story progresses the only protagonist is Liam. Just have to wait if you want to read single protagonist.

newthings:multiple protagonists ?
Other Reviews
puukkiss
puukkissLv3

Read about 6 chapters trying to find anything related to tags # System # Reincarnation or novels genre Horror&Thriller. All I got was diabetes alert, confusing ramblings of an MC, and a lot of things-are-like-this-because-I-want-them-to-be-so. and Characters are doing things because doing things is fun (Who needs a plot and reason, let’s do things!!!) For example, chapter 2: "Liam saw his 17-year-old sister sitting near him (...)" "Who will think that the CEO of Ohio's top company would fear a little rodent?!" A minor is a CEO... What is the Board of directors thinking? Shouldn't they be asking where is Liam's guardian who has not yet been mentioned in the story? To work a minor needs a signature from a parent or a guardian. And minors until age 18 need a guardian. If I understood correctly, their parents are away (missing?), meaning they need a guardian. Also, Liam ""Stop wasting our parents' money," Liam complained with a frown on his face." and the same Liam "Mom dad, we have go this much money there is no need for this small phone. 'Maybe I will just throw it off.' It was just near the window; my grip was now losing on the mobile when the beep sound came out of the mobile." The neighbors probably hate those snot-nosed kids that throw shit all the time out of their windows. A big turn-off from the story also was the hinted ******. Right now, the story is told from Liam's POV that focuses on his sister's body way too much. "Liam's eyes followed Rena." "(...)she moved both the hands to her perfect curved waist." "His sister's plain and white toned stomach as she pulled her top up " TLDR: Anything related to the plot happens at the end of chapter 6. Before this was... ramblings, that another author would have deleted or rewritten elsewhere. Afterwards… the poor grammar pushed me away from reading more. The only reason why I even read to chapter 6 was because of other reviews saying it's good… now I have reason to believe the reviews are from aliens or 13-year-old ghosts.

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