Review Detail of AxlSLL in The Lowly Gate’s Guard

You have done a good job representing the typical British humor, which is a very good thing. The design and world-building are consistent. Everything feels like they belong to the same work. However, the biggest mistake you've done is grammatical. The way you inconsistently switch between the past and present tense makes your story tedious to read at. Fix it and stick to only one tense. Some characters' physical descriptions, although may add more depth to the immersive experience, are relatively unnecessary at first. The reader's first impression of them in any given story is going to be the way they talk, what they do and who they are. They aren't going to care much at first about what they look like. The scenes transition too fast and the lack of a given environmental context make it hard to follow, especially if you describe the scenery in the middle of the scene. The reader doesn't have the mental image you as an author have. You must give it go them in a well-implemented manner, be it straightforward or more subtle, depending on your style. You also like to use words like "very". Please also get rid of that and look for a deeper synonymous. Example: "very tired" = "exhausted". Otherwise, the plot, although may appear stereotypical at first, has the potential to become something solid and smooth. Improve it and keep working on it.